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picking apart everything you used to know

i have a co-worker who, everytime she gets off the phone with a client, says "thanks a million!"

This drives me f*#!ing crazy.

Am I being bitchy? Or am just overstressed and overtired?

I did not get enough sleep last night as I was stressed out due to trying to finish too much homework (and not really succeeding) and making copies of my short story and trying not to think about ultrasounds and then getting sucked into staying up into the early hours of the morning and watching the news and all the Sept. 11 anniversary coverage and then talking about it and how strange it feels - it both seems like that was a long, long time ago and ... and not.

It's like, as another co-worker said to me this morning, Sept. 11 is one of those moments in time that seems to have no beginning and no end.

And, watching the news last night, I started crying and I remembered how, in the days, weeks, months after 9/11 I cried all the time and even had to take time off from work - "mental health days" - because i was suffering from severe anxiety attacks.

And now I still feel sad, but it's a more distant kind of sad. And I don't know if last night's tears were due to sorrow or exhaustion or a combination of both.

And today, more than anything, my head hurts and my body aches with both fatigue and the dull throb of melancholy and I want a long, deep sleep with no bad dreams and no pending deadlines and no worries about anything.

But I don't think that's anywhere near on the horizon.

10:07 am - 09.11.03

sounds: James Wi11iam Hind1e
words: school stuff...
i am: tired...and otherwise

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previously on ... - next time on ...

money can't buy happiness but it does buy small pieces of of serenity - 15.07.12 - 4:29 pm

sh)t's about to get real, y'all - 31.05.12 - 9:46 am

why the hell not? - 29.04.12 - 8:38 pm

Hear that lonesome whistle blow... - 02.04.12 - 5:18 pm

a faith in something I can't see - 30.03.12 - 3:33 pm

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