| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- back in black Things are a little better since that last, pitiful entry. That's what meds will do for you. To be specific, I renewed my prescription for the Lexapro and the thyroid medication and have now been taking them faithfully for two weeks straight. I also visited the doctor last week. "Visited" - it sounds so pleasant as if at no point during that 8 a.m. call did I have my naked legs up in the stirrups while desperately hoping that the thin cloth gown was at least, in some small way, flattering. I told the doctor (who, actually, I like very very much) about having gone off both the anxiety medication and the thyroid medication and he raised an eyebrow in surprise. "That'll fuck shit up," he said. I know, I know, I said. But I'm trying again, I really am. I'm trying again because I recognized the deep dark sadness and the anger and the feeling of 'whatever, nevermind' and so on and so forth. The drugs, of course do not help me figure out what is surely a pre-mid-life crisis but they at least make me feel less desperate about the whole not-knowing. I'm also trying to maintain a better workout schedule. In addition to walking and running, I've started a weight class at the nearby community college. In some ways it's a joke because Coach (I have no idea what his name is, I just assume he's a coach) does nothing but take roll (i.e., put out a roll sheet for us to sign), talk on his cell phone (at 7:30 a.m?!) and shoot the shit about the Yankees and Dodgers. But that's fine. Occasionally I make him put down the cell phone and show me how to use a machine but mostly I just turn up my iPod and crank through endless reps and it's very Zen-like and I'm starting to notice tiny muscles and nice bits of definition and although the scale has crept up three or four pounds, the clothes actually fit better so I'm guessing that's some hard body weight, baby, not flab. See? Doing better. Also: I'm "working" from home today. You can see how that's going. No, but seriously, I am. Back to the grind. 12:16 pm - 23.09.08
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money can't buy happiness but it does buy small pieces of of serenity - 15.07.12 - 4:29 pm sh)t's about to get real, y'all - 31.05.12 - 9:46 am why the hell not? - 29.04.12 - 8:38 pm Hear that lonesome whistle blow... - 02.04.12 - 5:18 pm a faith in something I can't see - 30.03.12 - 3:33 pm |
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