| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- all the bridges blown away keep floating up Just more of the same around these parts. More work than I can shake a stick at and just generally feeling breathless and anxious. I think I am slowly getting back on track however � I hope to be back up to speed by next week. I haven�t missed any work or school deadlines yet but it�s definitely been a real juggling act. I spend my days jacked up on caffeine and have now resorted to popping two Tylenol PM tablets at night so that I can actually get a good night�s sleep. Yes, coffee and Tylenol PM. This is the square geek girl�s version of uppers and downers. And as if I didn�t have enough work to do I have to find time sometime today or tomorrow to hit the stupid fucking mall for a pair of shoes for this weekend�s wedding in Pasadena and a birthday card for GB�s grandmother. And don�t roll your eyes at me on the shoe thing � I swear to God I do not have a pair of dressy black shoes. I do not know HOW this happened � me of the millions of pairs of shoes. I think I must have thrown out a pair (a ratty pair, most likely) or something. I don�t do dressy very often so it doesn�t surprise me that much that I just now noticed that the only dress shoes I have are in copper and gray satin. I do have one pair of black high heels but the heels are platforms and they DEFINITELY don�t go with the cocktail dress I�m wearing. Way too Spice Girls. I�d love to find a nice vintage pair but I don�t have time � so the mall it is. Something kind of basic. �..This whole sniper business has me disturbed. With the impending war in Iraq and now the sniper I just can�t help shake the feeling that we are in store for some really fucked-up times. Not that I really think the snipers are terrorist-related. I just have this overall sense that we are all just teetering on the edge of something even more dreadful. Just another reason why I have trouble sleeping at night. Last night I took two Tylenol PM tablets and had a beer for added oomph. Probably not the wisest move � I got up at one point to go to the bathroom and actually felt a bit dizzy. And even with that I didn�t sleep all the way through the night. I got up at least four times. At least my cat slept through the morning instead of getting me up to feed her and play with her. Must be grateful for the little things, I suppose. I�m grateful that it�s only 65 degrees right now. Maybe it won�t end up being 90 degrees today after all. I�m grateful that I got my period yesterday � not so much because I thought I might be pregnant but because it meant I could go back to feeling semi-normal and have clear skin for at least two weeks or so. Although the fact that I seem to be getting my period every three weeks now is not very good. I�m grateful that it�s only 12:30 p.m. and I am done with project and have the rest of the afternoon to work on another one. I might get really really decadent today and go to the gym for an hour. I haven�t been to the gym in a month. I have only worked out a few times at home in the last month. That is so not good. The only reason I�m not gaining weight is because of my nerves and anxiety. I suppose I�m grateful for that too � always look on the bright side huh? Yep�that�s me�.The Shivers of Sunnybrook Farm PS, confidential to you - i wish I could do something magical to make things go better. I'm thinking of you and wishing good thoughts, my dear.... 1:14 pm - 10.15.02
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140 days - 30.07.20 - 5:19 pm everything is a gamble - 27.07.20 - 2:45 pm exile in what-the-fucksville - 22.07.20 - 12:54 pm in which we go old-school with a list, just because - 20.07.20 - 7:01 pm you and me till the wheels fall off - 18.07.20 - 1:36 pm |
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