-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

it's just that my heart gets rejected by my veins

I feel myself getting cranky with people--people who have nothing to do with anything.

But, frankly, I'm just angry with the world right now.

Yesterday, my co-adviser on the student paper very nonchalantly informed me that I might not have the magazine class after all next semester (even though I already received my contract for it). Seems it is still on the chopping block and the chopping block is supposedly being laid out today during a department meeting.

While I understand that classes can be cut because of budget problems--at any time before the start of the semester, really--it still felt like a blow. A blow compounded by her, eh whatever attitude.

You might want to start looking to see what else you can pick up next semester, she suggested helpfully.

Right, right---As if I haven't already been doing that. I've done that. I do that every day, it seems. My whole life feels like a juggling act right now, a game of survival in which the adrenaline is consistently turned to 11 as I try to keep things balanced, figured out, straightened out.

The mortgage company called today. I let it go to voice mail and then, an hour later, e-mailed the person with whom I've been speaking. E-mail is just easier to deal with right now because every time I get on the phone with one of them I start to get emotional and my voice gets kind of squeaky and I'm pretty sure they can tell I'm just nanoseconds away from Losing My Shit which is just so not the attitude I want to convey during these proceedings.

Today I had to apologize for nearly snapping at a friend. I had to throw down the gauntlet and demand that C. handle the next house phone call. I had to give myself a time-out.

Diaryland: The only therapy I can afford right now.

12:01 pm - 05.04.11

sounds:
words:
i am:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previously on ... - next time on ...

money can't buy happiness but it does buy small pieces of of serenity - 15.07.12 - 4:29 pm

sh)t's about to get real, y'all - 31.05.12 - 9:46 am

why the hell not? - 29.04.12 - 8:38 pm

Hear that lonesome whistle blow... - 02.04.12 - 5:18 pm

a faith in something I can't see - 30.03.12 - 3:33 pm

latest entry

about me

archives

notes

base

contact

random entry

guestbook

other diaries:

moodswing
secret-motel
yourtipsucks
sparkspark
arajane
fuck--that
birdandegg
gizzhead
veganfuckk
ratherbored
astralounge
boombasticat
oh-sweet-pea
but-whatever
gingeryette
ann-frank
dearedwin
soapboxdiner
myra-lee
reddirtgirl
kayemess
colddigits
miralogue
nudeplatypus
mrs-roboto
miserystar
allmadhere
widgetbitch
inarticulate