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equal bits of apathy and despair

Maybe it IS a mid-life crisis (also, confidential to my dear friend, you are not an idiot. EVER).

Certainly, I feel as though I've been having a mid-life crisis. Or, for the last 10 years or so. But more so now. That happens, for sure I think, when you hit a certain age. When you kind of get his with this realization about crossing over to another age group.

I read this blog over the weekend--written by a well-known career coach who is also on the autism spectrum ( you can Google her if you wish); in it she wrote about a certain age having recently been named (by some sort of experts) as the hardest age for women.

It just happens to be the age I'll turn come Dec. 23. So, awesome.

But, she added, move into the next decade (a few years hence) and life gets much better, according to these same experts.

Sometimes I genuinely question whether I'll make it that far. And if I do, what am I living for?

I am not trying to make this sound as though I'm ready to take myself out. I'm just so unsure about so many things.

It's a most unsettling feeling. One often tinged with equal bits of apathy and despair.

I have a friend who once told me she's never ever really been depressed.

I think I still look at her as though she's from another planet whenever I see her.

P.S.: On the plus side, today I do not have that deep aching pain in my arm and leg muscles that made yesterday almost unbearable and had me googling symptoms for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Lupas.

10:37 am - 17.11.15

sounds:
words:
i am:

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previously on ... - next time on ...

everything is awful, most of all me - 08.12.15 - 12:03 pm

Be cool Shivers, be cool - 04.12.15 - 2:28 pm

Just call me Calamity Shivers... - 24.11.15 - 11:09 am

Yes, that - 21.11.15 - 4:08 pm

stupid or nah? - 19.11.15 - 9:55 am

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