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fell in love with a girl

Is it possible to be nearly 34-years-old, married and in love, in a purely artistic way of course, with a 22-year-old, cigarette-smoking, ever-doodling, dirty tennis shoe-wearing, pixie-haired, wide-eyed girl?

Friday night at Angel Boy's party I met a girl. A girl who's got my brain exploding into a million pieces of cosmic debris.

Angel Boy's girlfriend's childhood friend: 22-years-worth of tightly-coiled energy and manic eyes and laughs that come from a low-down place. The daughter of a pretty famous pop culture artist, you can see her, as a child, in a documentary about dad. You can see the weird, fucked-up world in which she grew up. You can see some of her art in a pretty famous movie and wonder what that was like to create and then see on the big screen. And then you can cast an eye on her now and gaze, appreciatively at the new art she is now shyly offering up as her own. You can smile, amused, when she literally kicks your ass during karaoke and then confides that she thinks you and your partner are "the cutest couple ever", sounding exactly like the young girl that she really is.

You can sit on Angel Boy's back door steps and chain smoke cigarettes with her and blush when she says i'm so glad I met you tonight, you're the most interesting person here. You can wish that, despite the degrees less pain you realize your current life has probably given you in comparison, that you'd had the chance to live like she did, to stay for that year in Paris, to meet all those people, to be set into the world with so much knowledge, with those manic eyes wide open.

But in the end you just sigh and smile and pay her $5 for the comic and laugh when she signs the inside cover with a flip remark about the boots you're wearing. And you pocket her e-mail address and, the next morning when you see it on the dresser, wonder about lives you've never lived, lives you'll never know and, always, the possibility of a future that's so great it could blow the lid off of everything.

11:45 am - 12.15.03

sounds:
words:
i am:

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previously on ... - next time on ...

money can't buy happiness but it does buy small pieces of of serenity - 15.07.12 - 4:29 pm

sh)t's about to get real, y'all - 31.05.12 - 9:46 am

why the hell not? - 29.04.12 - 8:38 pm

Hear that lonesome whistle blow... - 02.04.12 - 5:18 pm

a faith in something I can't see - 30.03.12 - 3:33 pm

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