| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- what's a girl to do when she's locked up and feeling blue? Let�s see, so far this morning I�ve had to endure a 7:30 work meeting (I don�t usually get up until 7:30), have lost a contact lens and have had my computer crash on me not once but twice. Please don�t let this be an indication of how the rest of the day will be. Oh yeah, it�s supposed to be at least 104 degrees today. Can I just go back to bed � in a nice, air-conditioned room? Please? And somebody please tell me how it suddenly became the middle of August? I mean, really - did I sleep through the first half of the month? School starts in TWO WEEKS and TWO DAYS. This is so not good. I have things to do! I have web sites to finish and books to start and places to go. I don�t have time for school. What was I thinking? Oh wait, that�s the problem � I wasn�t thinking. I just jumped in headfirst. And now, even though I�m still in on the shallow end � I already feel as if I�m drowning. At lunch w/ Joke Girl on Saturday � she thought I ought to skip ahead to Plan B � just scrap Plan A altogether and go for Plan B. On one hand I understand her thinking � Plan A is expensive and more uncertain in the future it will yield. It is at a very good school though. Plan B is cheaper, safer and at everyone�s favorite West Coast bohemian intellectual school, Berkeley. But still I can�t shake this feeling that I�m supposed to at least try Plan A before I give up on it. Hmmm. I just realized I haven�t been to therapy in about six weeks. I don�t really have any desire to go in any time soon. I�m tired of talking about all the same old problems. I feel too weighted down by the day-to-day of things to dabble in the theory of it all�. And through it all I feel as if I�m forgetting something � that I�m neglecting something very important. And I�m afraid of that something eventually coming back to smack me upside the head. I guess I�ll find out eventually. 10:53 am - 08.13.02
sounds: Ed Harcourt - Here Be Monsters ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- previously on ... - next time on ...
money can't buy happiness but it does buy small pieces of of serenity - 15.07.12 - 4:29 pm sh)t's about to get real, y'all - 31.05.12 - 9:46 am why the hell not? - 29.04.12 - 8:38 pm Hear that lonesome whistle blow... - 02.04.12 - 5:18 pm a faith in something I can't see - 30.03.12 - 3:33 pm |
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