| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- what does good luck bring? This is how my Monday started. Awakened at 6:30 a.m. by the orange cat who wanted food and then attention. Then it took her another 15 minutes to settle back to sleep and while most cat mommies would toss the little critter out the door in favor of more sleep, I put up with it �and then overslept until 8 p.m. DOH. And THEN, cranky with a headache I had to accompany GB to the body shop place and car rental place. And then I got my work and discovered I had gotten my period � just in the nick of time to save my light tan pants. Sorry if that�s more info than you wanted but damn that would have made it a really shitty morning. And then I went to lunch with my mother � she picked me up because she has the day off � and not only did she buy me lunch but she handed me an enveloped filled with $500 in cash �for school stuff or anything else you need it for� and THEN she said she was sorry it couldn�t be more or that she just couldn�t hand me a check for my school tuition. And then I started crying. Because my mother � who works two freaking jobs and takes care of my ailing grandparents and puts up with status-conscious snobby aunts and uncles who do things like vacation for three weeks in Italy while looking down on my mother�s cheerful worker mouse lifestyle � well my mother rocks because she is who she is without any apologies. And I really needed the money. I will use the money to for our hotel room for the wedding we are going to next weekend, GB�s birthday gift, school books and food � and I can now buy all these things without worrying about how I will make it to my next pay day and /or relying on a credit card. I just got paid Friday and then I paid bills and even though I�m doing kind of OK I nonetheless had a stressful anxiety dream last night about being completely broke. I always need the money but I never ask for it and then when she gives me some I feel so incredibly guilty. But also thankful and appreciative for all the values she�s instilled in me over the years. There are many things we don�t agree upon but I still owe much of my outlook on life � the part of my outlook that disdains labels and fancy cars and so forth � to her endless sense of practicality and strong work ethic. I am very lucky. And not just because I have $500 sitting in an envelope in my bag. 3:37 pm - 10.14.02
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the routine of it all - 01.05.20 - 2:39 pm the line of demarcation - 23.04.20 - 8:47 am the days are longer now - 05.04.20 - 2:54 pm at the foot of a very steep mountain - 19.03.20 - 3:06 pm till the end of the world ... - 14.03.20 - 4:08 pm |
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