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why won't you call me lady bird?

It is odd to have such a beautiful movie so perfectly capture the place you call home.

To have it be so much like your own experience--albeit, about 15 years later and in the movie version your mother scrapes for the expensive private school when in real life your mother did think about transferring you to the public school in the nicer neighborhood because you really did see someone get knifed on afternoon right around the corner from the athletic field. In the end, though, you stayed.

In the movie version you fight with your mother but love her, tremendously and painfully, too.

That's like the real life, version, too.

I think we fought off and on from the time I was 14 until I was 23 or 24. We probably once went six months without talking to each other because I used my keys to let myself into the house one afternoon when I thought she wasn't home and then she came home and was mad because I never came to visit and now here I was, snacking on crackers and watching TV during a break from classes.

Then I moved away, as all lady birds do, and missed home so immensely it felt like a black hole had opened up inside me. Unlike our movie heroine, I moved back home. I remember calling her to tell her how I felt like a failure for returning so soon. "Why wait to prove something to someone else?" she asked me. "If you know it's time to come home then come home."

And so I did. I came home. And I drove through the streets and all their curves, across the bridge and along the rose garden. It's all there, it's all still here. It's all still home.

2:55 pm - 16.03.18

sounds:
words:
i am:

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previously on ... - next time on ...

golden state of mind - 25.04.18 - 7:19 pm

to move the needle slightly on the record - 20.04.18 - 3:02 pm

welcome to academia - 17.04.18 - 8:31 pm

everything is weird - 16.04.18 - 7:07 pm

just like spring rain - 19.03.18 - 7:28 pm