| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- what makes you update: I just have to say that in the last day and a half I've had to remind my boss no less than five times that I won't be here Wednesday through Friday. Which means that no, I can't take all those assignments you keep lobbing my way. Eessh. In just 24 hours we'll be on our way to St. Louis and I lied to my brain about getting to shut down at that point...I have way too much school work. Too much reading. Too much critiquing. Too much analyzing. That's OK, I guess, if I go three whole days without thinking I might lose my capability. I'm always afraid of that. Always afraid that one day that side of my brain will give out completely and the scariest part is what if I can't even tell the difference? It was a rollercoaster weekend: moments of relaxation giving way to rocky fights and prickly emotions. But isn't that how it always is? OK, not always. But often. Last night as I left the house to go to the store, I drove over something that felt sharp and rocky. For the rest of the drive I started getting paranoid about getting a flat tire. But once I was in the store I forgot all about it. Until last night while I was sleeping and I dreamt that I walked outside to find my car (now no longer a car, but an SUV) with a flat tire that caused the vehicle to squat low on one side, like a crippled dog. The worst though, was my mother's SUV was right behind mine and the same thing had happened to hers, only her vehicle was completely tipped over on its side and it looked monster truck huge. And I stood there worrying, trying to figure out to get it right side up again. I went inside to tell my mother. But she was locked inside my bedroom with my father. I think they were making up. That is the first time I've dreamt of such a thing in the entire 21 years since their divorce. 8:58 am - 10.14.03
sounds: Hedw1g tribute album ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- previously on ... - next time on ...
money can't buy happiness but it does buy small pieces of of serenity - 15.07.12 - 4:29 pm sh)t's about to get real, y'all - 31.05.12 - 9:46 am why the hell not? - 29.04.12 - 8:38 pm Hear that lonesome whistle blow... - 02.04.12 - 5:18 pm a faith in something I can't see - 30.03.12 - 3:33 pm |
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