theshivers's Diaryland Diary

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15.12.23 - driving through the canyon singing boys don't cry
17.10.23 - before i gotta go
17.08.23 - you oughta be glad that i'm getting good marks
28.06.23 - once I really listened the noise, it went away
28.09.22 - dear dad
27.04.22 - always in my head space
02.02.22 - shut up and write
22.12.21 - consolation prizes
16.12.21 - forever if i could
17.09.21 - getting schooled
04.06.21 - it's the start of the breakdowns
06.05.21 - educate me
07.04.21 - calling from beyond the grave, i just wanna say 'hi dad'
22.03.21 - tired in the bones
13.03.21 - baby, all we need is a shot in the arm
09.03.21 - in the air
03.03.21 - the pandemic wall is real
26.02.21 - prelude to a reunion
01.02.21 - fruitless complaints
28.01.21 - at the storm's center
25.01.21 - legal eagles
10.01.21 - the hardest part is sleeping
04.01.21 - new year, new headaches, new intentions
19.12.20 - stick around, you might like it
09.12.20 - i'm still here
30.11.20 - all things royal and exhausted
22.11.20 - sister to a father of a thought
21.11.20 - shotgun down the avalanche
13.11.20 - spirits in the trees and drown all the clocks 'til there's none
09.11.20 - a shift back to democracy
05.11.20 - georgia (and other states) on my mind
01.11.20 - it's not always going to be this grey
20.10.20 - vote like a motherfucker
10.10.20 - the year of our lord, 2020
07.10.20 - and mom would stick a fork in daddy's shoulder
28.09.20 - wish me luck on sleeping
24.09.20 - 17 years later
21.09.20 - we're all probably OK, I guess.
04.09.20 - in which the cat is better but i'm still fucking sad about everything
03.09.20 - of fluffs and purrs
30.08.20 - some summers, they drop like flies
23.08.20 - under the zoom light
18.08.20 - how i learned to write backwards
10.08.20 - a sliver of a silver lining
07.08.20 - fetch the bolt cutters
03.08.20 - oh, sour grapes, because i lost my heart
02.08.20 - we were all so much younger once
01.08.20 - in which we act like goddamned adults about things
30.07.20 - 140 days
27.07.20 - everything is a gamble
22.07.20 - exile in what-the-fucksville
20.07.20 - in which we go old-school with a list, just because
18.07.20 - you and me till the wheels fall off
11.07.20 - no one sees much of anyone these days
07.07.20 - some days are diamonds, some days are rocks
03.07.20 - keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars
01.07.20 - bird by bird and all that
28.06.20 - see our reflections in the water
26.06.20 - in which 2020 Me prepares to bore Future Me
25.06.20 - i can't sleep because my bed's on fire
17.06.20 - motion sickness
12.06.20 - long-ago past vs. last year's past
27.05.20 - the things that are still OK
21.05.20 - girls like us are most perfect when we're biting off all of our finger nails
15.05.20 - i could join the circus when they come to town
11.05.20 - the good that won't come out, part 58
07.05.20 - if i were brave
01.05.20 - the routine of it all
23.04.20 - the line of demarcation
05.04.20 - the days are longer now
19.03.20 - at the foot of a very steep mountain
14.03.20 - till the end of the world ...
08.03.20 - we all float on
06.03.20 - too school for cool
16.02.20 - breathe all the things I scripted
06.02.20 - betrayals
04.02.20 - why did i ever?
30.01.20 - changling memories
28.01.20 - i know you think i'm kinda strange
19.01.20 - I was even younger once
12.01.20 - Bienvenue à la maison
26.12.19 - bonjour
04.12.19 - the lean slant of December's light...
08.11.19 - mourning the loss of autumn
06.10.19 - in which my mother runs for president
21.09.19 - anyway, i am still here
15.08.19 - twenty years and counting
13.08.19 - If only
12.08.19 - a slow wave of loss
06.08.19 - racing to a close
31.07.19 - multitudes
22.07.19 - to laugh at how you break
09.07.19 - put the key in the lock and turn ....
27.06.19 - riptide
19.06.19 - build a little kindness in your bones
17.06.19 - tiny failures every day, redux
30.05.19 - mourning the loss of her house
19.05.19 - Goodbye, I love you. I love you, goodbye.
27.04.19 - incredible lightness of being
19.04.19 - weeks probably, maybe a month
13.04.19 - not a moment too soon
07.04.19 - on grief, hairdryers and dinner plates
01.04.19 - the woefully short of it
25.03.19 - settling into a routine
06.03.19 - i'm never smart about these things
05.03.19 - long story short
24.02.19 - prepare for the worst
19.02.19 - fucking devastated
06.02.19 - love, loss and 20 years
13.01.19 - KonMari my brain please
28.12.18 - oui, paris
25.11.18 - in search of a better year
22.11.18 - thankful
21.11.18 - lonely is an eyesore
15.11.18 - smoke day
10.11.18 - merry-go-round without the merry
07.11.18 - so, so tired
26.10.18 - the candle is just ashes now
10.10.18 - peak burnout right on cue
03.10.18 - wondering if i'll ever bury the hatchet inside
30.09.18 - remember to breathe (2018 edition)
22.09.18 - you in that autumn sweater
11.09.18 - 17 years or 17 seconds?
08.09.18 - come pick me up
21.08.18 - Let's say that to each other more often, OK?
20.08.18 - we all have that one friend, right?
14.08.18 - happy and grateful
02.08.18 - sickish
29.07.18 - smoke, ash and self-loathing
26.07.18 - what else is new, right?
19.07.18 - in which I dither on senselessly
15.07.18 - gazing off at a ship that's sailed
12.07.18 - peak me
11.07.18 - how much do these bragging rights cost?
10.07.18 - coulda been a contender
09.07.18 - god, stop being such a baby
06.07.18 - on summer malaise, freaking out and other good things
27.06.18 - Jesus, subconscious, WTF
21.06.18 - this is fortysomething
18.06.18 - at the sound of a voice
13.06.18 - mostly just relief
09.06.18 - to smooth down the rat's nest
06.06.18 - i don't like discos
04.06.18 - welcome, ghosts
21.05.18 - a different state of mind
17.05.18 - there's something about the summer
13.05.18 - it's just a day anyway
06.05.18 - once and future comforts
03.05.18 - the glamorous life
25.04.18 - golden state of mind
20.04.18 - to move the needle slightly on the record
17.04.18 - welcome to academia
16.04.18 - everything is weird
19.03.18 - just like spring rain
16.03.18 - why won't you call me lady bird?
06.03.18 - ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
27.02.18 - C'mon Shivers, get real.
27.01.18 - turn it up to 11
26.01.18 - on 2017
25.01.18 - may the fourth be with you...
15.01.18 - tiny failures every day
19.12.17 - hustle along now
27.11.17 - no easy way to there from here.
08.11.17 - give me a glimmer
31.10.17 - worry, worry, worry
29.10.17 - the things they don't teach you
19.10.17 - teachers applying lipstick in their cars in the parking lot before class
16.10.17 - that which gets me through the tougher moments
11.10.17 - in which I am grateful it's not worse
06.10.17 - in which I am a goddamned adult about these kinds of things
04.10.17 - breakdown
01.10.17 - purple to blue, whoa
29.09.17 - a little less dreadful
27.09.17 - So that's that.
26.09.17 - bring your own lampshade, somewhere there's a pity party
25.09.17 - autumnal malaise
22.09.17 - in which i hate feeling as though i'm not acing this thing
20.09.17 - We all float on
18.09.17 - work, work, work
12.09.17 - Make it Work (Fuck the Haters)
10.09.17 - there goes the sun
07.09.17 - We could send letters ...
04.09.17 - It's almost Christmas ...
24.08.17 - for the love of all that is academic and holy
23.08.17 - Day three of my new(ish) academic life
11.08.17 - on friends and loneliness
04.08.17 - Summer here, almost gone
01.08.17 - A flurry of hellos and goodbyes
25.07.17 - No. 7 is OK, I guess
14.07.17 - hello, is this thing on?
09.07.17 - Work, work, work, work, work, work
19.03.17 - everybody's hustlin'
22.02.17 - But, nope ....
28.01.17 - Politics, naps and other life-changing confusions
16.01.17 - Here we go
06.01.17 - time to freak out
05.01.17 - Percentages and opportunities
30.12.16 - Goodbye, 2016
19.12.16 - a virtual room of one's own
15.12.16 - On entitlement and self-despair ....
06.12.16 - Garden variety anxiety
21.11.16 - Universe, can you just NOT right now?
16.11.16 - Ugh. No, seriously, ugh.
10.11.16 - heartsick
08.11.16 - On new presidents, patriarchal smugness and pony memories
04.11.16 - A lifetime ago and then again not ...
01.11.16 - what I worry about the most here ...
25.10.16 - thank you and I'm sorry (a mild freak-out)
03.10.16 - Cut me down
10.09.16 - nobody really cares if you didn't go to the party
09.08.16 - we were very free in this way
13.07.16 - jealous, much Shivers?
05.05.16 - same as it never was
23.04.16 - so far I haven't burned the place down
16.04.16 - we got this
13.04.16 - prove it, bitch
04.04.16 - Reminders, reminding...
22.03.16 - Perspective, right?
22.03.16 - thank god for yoga
17.03.16 - deep breaths
16.03.16 - So much for trying to drink less
15.03.16 - Let's just skip to the hard stuff
08.03.16 - The girl in the bubble
16.02.16 - a good problem to have, right?
09.02.16 - of shiplap and backsplash
29.01.16 - fckthelight
19.01.16 - always watch the mic
12.01.16 - There you go again
21.12.15 - On this, the longest night of the year ...
17.12.15 - those neurons, tho
16.12.15 - I'm not that good at breathing in ...
09.12.15 - A cluster of grief, knotted
08.12.15 - everything is awful, most of all me
04.12.15 - Be cool Shivers, be cool
24.11.15 - Just call me Calamity Shivers...
21.11.15 - Yes, that
19.11.15 - stupid or nah?
17.11.15 - equal bits of apathy and despair
12.11.15 - the crying game
11.11.15 - Packing a bag to keep in my closet.
09.11.15 - everything is stupid
05.11.15 - Unleashing the arrogant
05.11.15 - rewriting and re-imagining
04.11.15 - Grumpers gonna grump
02.11.15 - So many bad life choices, so little time
30.10.15 - crazy-making distraction
28.10.15 - going the distance
26.10.15 - the moment that has passed
22.10.15 - bring on the words
21.10.15 - between the bars
19.10.15 - For a split second
18.10.15 - The worst is yet to come (maybe)
17.10.15 - a soft light
15.10.15 - At the sound of a phone ringing, part two
14.10.15 - that echo chorus lied to me with its 'hold on, hold on'
13.10.15 - Not saving any prayers
12.10.15 - Everything old is really fucking old again
08.10.15 - are you out there in all that sunshine?
07.10.15 - Appreciate: An appreciation
06.10.15 - There are not enough Costco-sized bottles of whiskey in the world
05.10.15 - voices carry
05.10.15 - Leaving home to come home
30.09.15 - grateful
28.09.15 - things you learn about your biological mother in her final days
26.09.15 - hold on, hold on
24.09.15 - can't shake it off
22.09.15 - The anxious and the surreal
21.09.15 - Why do we call this place home?
18.09.15 - a shell
17.09.15 - Another thing to wonder
17.09.15 - Please, go gently into that good night
17.09.15 - it's also true I lost the map
16.09.15 - through the day
16.09.15 - Yes, with many
09.09.15 - Some summers, they drop like flies
05.09.15 - Better than OK
04.09.15 - Goddamn, this week
03.09.15 - Goodbye, Brianna
01.09.15 - Mind the gap
31.08.15 - At the sound of a phone ringing
13.07.15 - Home again
07.07.15 - Our friends and neighbors ....
19.06.15 - what we'll leave behind
17.06.15 - What do you mean you can't go home again?
08.06.15 - waiting to exhale
03.06.15 - Hold on, hold on
17.02.15 - rejection isn't death, right?
29.10.14 - What's your favorite song? Do you remember how it pierced your ears?
06.09.14 - It's self-defense, really
02.04.14 - Another day, another trip down the rabbit hole
26.03.14 - Perhaps just another half pill
17.03.14 - When there's no 'there' there to grip
07.03.14 - but whatever, nevermind
07.03.14 - A faint scent of incense
08.02.14 - I prefer to think of it as a downward spiral.
27.01.14 - A little floral burrito
23.01.14 - backward and forwards
06.01.14 - Hello, 2014
30.12.13 - good tidings...
09.12.13 - Assassinate December
06.12.13 - But who will play me in the movie of my life?
28.10.13 - Lookin' out forever
10.10.13 - that was then, this is now ...
08.10.13 - it's gonna take some time ...
07.10.13 - keep it like a secret
04.10.13 - that is all..
23.09.13 - Come home...
20.09.13 - please let him be OK
14.09.13 - Something is changing inside of me, colors seem darker and light ...
06.08.13 - yep, just smashing atoms over here
13.07.13 - bottomless
07.07.13 - well somebody's got to somehow believe in something sometime
01.07.13 - tears, what the fuck?
11.06.13 - what the kids are into
04.06.13 - in the aeroplane over the sea...
24.05.13 - that stoner kid from the neighborhood uptown a ways.
22.05.13 - best tiger friend forever
20.05.13 - the meh of May
17.05.13 - haven't got time for the pain
16.05.13 - things
09.05.13 - the ol' college try
07.05.13 - Let's do this
29.03.13 - a series of x's
28.03.13 - no idea at all
11.03.13 - a mother by any other name
10.03.13 - strange bedfellows
08.03.13 - anyhoo
04.03.13 - a baby in a subway station
12.02.13 - a shorter longshot
11.02.13 - Alternate uses for Siri.
28.01.13 - blood is not thicker than water
08.01.13 - fuck you, gluten
07.01.13 - Lately I just pee on a lot of sticks
27.11.12 - Fitting, I suppose
05.11.12 - Just for kicks
15.07.12 - money can't buy happiness but it does buy small pieces of of serenity
31.05.12 - sh)t's about to get real, y'all
29.04.12 - why the hell not?
02.04.12 - Hear that lonesome whistle blow...
30.03.12 - a faith in something I can't see
17.03.12 - I'm Miss World...
16.03.12 - One foot forward
12.03.12 - The fast and the furious
14.12.11 - making arrangments
01.12.11 - goddamn
07.09.11 - status quo
06.09.11 - Ch-ch-changes
14.06.11 - movin' on up...
17.05.11 - In flux
13.05.11 - the same mistakes
08.04.11 - Friday, Friday....
05.04.11 - the good times are killing me
05.04.11 - it's just that my heart gets rejected by my veins
03.04.11 - on getting through the day
28.03.11 - too much, too much, too much
18.03.11 - pause the tragic whining
06.03.11 - the need to destroy things creeps up on me every time ...
27.02.11 - you toss the egg up and i found my hands in place, boy
27.02.11 - starting over
26.02.11 - the waiting is the hardest part
22.02.11 - Roll on
01.01.11 - peace, out
28.12.10 - winter asks...
07.12.10 - lay me down, dissatisfied - 2010 edition
29.10.10 - i get knocked down but i get up again
26.10.10 - Here's a stepladder, now get over yourself
24.10.10 - rain come down
22.10.10 - and by summer, fall
17.10.10 - nothing is happening, it's all confusion
15.10.10 - the body weird
13.10.10 - this isn't happenstance, this is an overthrow
10.10.10 - you go west with the black setting sun...
05.10.10 - Keep on keepin'
02.10.10 - oh, ok!
01.10.10 - everyday I write the book
01.10.10 - pause the ending
16.09.10 - maybe an hour, maybe a day
07.09.10 - Handle me with care
27.08.10 - nothing lost, nothing gained
21.08.10 - Days become months...
21.07.10 - ghosted
10.07.10 - what part of 'get thee gone' don't you understand?
24.06.10 - god help the girl ...
23.06.10 - I need someone to toss the confetti at the ticker-tape parade I'm throwing for myself
17.06.10 - semi-colons
15.06.10 - Hey summer, how you doin'?
05.05.10 - hear all the bombs fade away
22.04.10 - i hate fights about merging onto interstates
14.04.10 - the hazards of love, part the million
12.04.10 - down by the sea
07.04.10 - Our Lady of Perpetual Retchedness
06.04.10 - crazymaking
03.04.10 - day in, day out
01.04.10 - on not cheering up
29.03.10 - love is all
18.03.10 - ghost kitty
17.03.10 - goodbye Sophie Buttercup
11.03.10 - several arrows later
24.02.10 - Communication breakdown
15.02.10 - If only time wounded all heels..
09.02.10 - the hazards of love
31.01.10 - now is the time
20.07.09 - mean girls
12.06.09 - sweet 16
08.06.09 - she weebles, she wobbles, she don't fall down
06.06.09 - The nerves, they are a rattling
04.06.09 - Hope, it is an option
29.05.09 - one step forward, two steps back
06.04.09 - speck
01.04.09 - Day three of my new life
22.03.09 - the goodbyes wll be more than enough
18.03.09 - Got.Some.Shit.Done
14.03.09 - starting to sound like a funeral around here
09.03.09 - don't stop, thinking about tomorrow
08.03.09 - sick of it all
05.03.09 - Savasana
25.02.09 - Look for the silver lining
24.02.09 - my so-called american dream
14.02.09 - here's to the little things
09.02.09 - not so hot for teacher
31.01.09 - go forth and multiply
13.01.09 - On money, babies and Lil Wayne
25.11.08 - help me, baby, please
20.11.08 - Resolving
21.10.08 - reasons why, lately, i can't seem to sleep
09.10.08 - well, whatever, never mind
08.10.08 - all the facts say no but...
23.09.08 - back in black
09.09.08 - hooray, I'm here, hello, i must be going
14.08.08 - happy anniversary
29.07.08 - In which twe try to explain The VagShake that Twittered the World
26.07.08 - the here and now is driving me fucking crazy
15.07.08 - i was young once, i could be young again
04.07.08 - I need another box of sparklers
30.06.08 - world shut your mouth
28.06.08 - sometimes there are tiny good things
22.06.08 - don't you know who i think i was?
09.06.08 - harvest time
06.06.08 - alright, ok, alright (part, the millionth)
04.06.08 - good hair day
28.05.08 - i don't know if i want you to want me
24.05.08 - school's out .... for summer
22.05.08 - i just wanted to say hello
22.05.08 - goodbye to all that (eleven years, man)
20.05.08 - then versus now versus now and again
16.05.08 - And all the bridges blown away keep floating up (part the million)
13.05.08 - the birds go chirrup, chirrup, chooo
09.05.08 - every star is a setting sun
08.05.08 - time, time see what's become of me
06.05.08 - i will not fall, i will not fall
05.05.08 - i've got to find some love, love
01.05.08 - no harm, no foul, no chance of striking one out of the ballpark?
29.04.08 - whatever the weather
27.04.08 - in which I can guilt students with the best of them
22.04.08 - And all the bridges blown away keep floating up
19.04.08 - faraway, so close
17.04.08 - a shaky sorta mellow
16.04.08 - the apple doesn't fall far from the tree (and i want to eat it)
15.04.08 - everyone says they know you
14.04.08 - in which i grade myself on a generous curve
13.04.08 - Sundays always make me weird this way
11.04.08 - lately in this state I'm in, I'm kind of myself
09.04.08 - dear internet, now it's your turn
08.04.08 - dear universe, you can suck it, love ...the shivers
29.03.08 - waiting to derail
24.03.08 - in which i am all kinds of thankful
03.03.08 - blah-blah-ing into the void
06.02.08 - Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?
31.01.08 - i'll give you something to cry about
15.01.08 - 2007 - maybe the clouds will roll away
02.01.08 - feeling great in 2008
31.12.07 - goodbye to all that ('07 edition)
27.12.07 - another birthday, another holiday gone
18.12.07 - Praise Jesus
13.12.07 - anxieties for now and later
03.12.07 - in which sleep is loved but gets in the way
20.11.07 - well, hot damn...
19.11.07 - WTF?
11.11.07 - how we breathe
05.11.07 - november spawned a monster (pt. the millionth)
23.10.07 - putting it off, swearing it off & moving on
17.10.07 - some days are longer than others
16.10.07 - capturing moods
12.10.07 - the illusion is deep
11.10.07 - i'm walking through walls
10.10.07 - not dead...just sheltering
24.04.07 - give me an instance
30.01.07 - don't come around here no more
29.10.06 - by boring i mean...
10.10.06 - if i live a long time then i'm afraid i'll die...
07.10.06 - monday night rock'n'roll will save my life...
25.09.06 - getting snippy with it...
19.09.06 - in case you were wondering today is an up day
01.09.06 - Summer here fades...
31.08.06 - back in my new neighborhood
21.08.06 - awaiting a rebirth...
12.08.06 - Seven years, no itch
25.07.06 - three-year plan
21.07.06 - Can you hear me now?
13.07.06 - baby, what?
12.07.06 - you take the good, you take the bad
11.07.06 - Freeze.Die.Come.To.Life.
05.07.06 - How things go...
28.06.06 - all the roadrunning's got me down
25.06.06 - i do, i do, i will...
23.06.06 - wasted days and wasted sights...
14.06.06 - a terrible hit
08.06.06 - flapping your broken wings
02.06.06 - easy, breezy
22.05.06 - all my mistakes are old ones...
12.05.06 - just one night
29.04.06 - every good girl does fine....
24.04.06 - crush everything with my nerves
24.04.06 - the breathing is hard now
20.04.06 - i don't understand the reasons why...
18.04.06 - betrothals...
06.04.06 - outta site, outta mind
04.04.06 - it's the cheesiest
03.04.06 - we could talk about the weather...
29.03.06 - the wedding train
27.03.06 - so sad about us...
20.03.06 - i've got a brand new pair of roller skates...
14.03.06 - then and now
13.03.06 - f-f-f-f-reeezing
08.03.06 - project goodness...
06.03.06 - the writing on the wall was never meant for me
05.03.06 - you know it's hard out there...
04.03.06 - a minor detail
02.03.06 - half the battle
28.02.06 - drops and bullets
25.02.06 - do you know me?
14.02.06 - the heart is a lonely hunter
04.01.06 - brighter than sunsh1ne
03.01.06 - it doesn't matter what you choose
16.12.05 - fa la la la la
04.12.05 - oh yeah, maybe ....
02.12.05 - i am a rock bottom riser
07.11.05 - bits and pieces
31.10.05 - so this (will be) the new year...
28.10.05 - who, me?
27.10.05 - oh sweetheart
21.10.05 - desperate h*usewifing
14.10.05 - this is not about love
10.12.05 - one of these days, one of these nights
10.11.05 - i was here but i disappeared
09.30.05 - well, do you do you wanna?
08.26.05 - baby steps
08.22.05 - love, death and ...
08.18.05 - where the soul meets ....
08.08.05 - do you know what i mean?
07.28.05 - have you never been mellow?
07.25.05 - a voice from the shadows
07.07.05 - home is home
06.29.05 - orange update
06.28.05 - patience
06.26.05 - emotional levy
06.25.05 - saturday and inspiration information
06.24.05 - i'll turn it around and give it a try
06.23.05 - where are you going and where have you been?
06.22.05 - a house is not a home, part the two
06.16.05 - come see how OK we are...
06.13.05 - people are people so why should it be?
06.08.05 - I put the cobwebs back in place
06.02.05 - i'm much too young for this nostalgia
05.30.05 - salt and pepa
05.28.05 - golden girl
05.26.05 - the now and later
05.24.05 - chesterfield drama queen
05.20.05 - the quiet, here and now
05.18.05 - 2010
05.16.05 - another day, another dollar, another year -- holla....
05.15.05 - if you learn to like it you just might love it
05.02.05 - it's a hard day for breathing, again
04.25.05 - the new light of tomorrow?
04.20.05 - you'll never get anywhere with that attitude
04.19.05 - i walked a line straight, but got there too late
04.10.05 - our town
04.07.05 - want some cheese with that whine?
04.03.05 - there have been fires...all are gone
03.30.05 - night vision
03.29.05 - a house is a home
03.29.05 - needles and pins
03.28.05 - manic monday
03.26.05 - a little white picket fence ...
03.25.05 - I put my game face on with a smile...(pt. 2)
03.22.05 - turn it way down low
03.17.05 - gray matters
03.13.05 - just like spring rain
03.11.05 - did we miss the light?
03.09.05 - teenage kicks
03.04.05 - in which i contemplate slackerdom
02.24.05 - in which i am an awful, snobby person
02.18.05 - the good, the bad and the ugly
02.17.05 - x transmission x
02.16.05 - i just don't know what to do with myself
02.15.05 - because it is bitter and because it is ...
02.15.05 - now on the cheap
02.15.05 - swing, it's so easy
02.07.05 - point that music quiz somewhere else
02.03.05 - hold on, we're going....
02.01.05 - to whom it may concern
01.31.05 - what the day brings
01.28.05 - oh, oops...
01.27.05 - remember, Code Word: Gareth
01.26.05 - i want a monkey
01.24.05 - same old song and dance
01.13.05 - the build-up
01.12.05 - the quiet and the still ....
01.07.05 - don't take it lying down
01.04.05 - maybe it's me
01.04.05 - finishing the time, crashing around
01.03.05 - so this is the new year ...
12.30.04 - a new year's not-so-rockin' eve
12.21.04 - winter wonderland
12.11.04 - such great heights?
12.09.04 - a fortnight's just a shot away
12.08.04 - Santa, can you hear me?
12.06.04 - closer to fine
12.04.04 - * icy * frosty * chilly *
12.01.04 - a quick game of hoops
11.30.04 - it's not an impossible situation
11.29.04 - deperate but not serious (but definitely jealous)
11.22.04 - this just in!
11.22.04 - the waiting is the hardest part
11.20.04 - you take the good, you take the bad...
11.18.04 - this is stupid, i'm smarting
11.15.04 - til the tide creeps in
11.13.04 - that wonderful, particular, creative feeling
11.11.04 - grateful
11.10.04 - hold on, slow down
11.09.04 - avalanched
11.03.04 - america the beautiful?
11.02.04 - Way. To. Go. Ohio.
11.02.04 - november spawned a monster
11.01.04 - digging through the rubble
10.31.04 - boo!
10.29.04 - all is good, good for all
10.28.04 - these hours, these days, these sounds
10.28.04 - frostbitten
10.27.04 - peanuts and popcorn and crackerjacks
10.27.04 - voyage to illumination
10.21.04 - just wondering
10.21.04 - all of this, too much
10.20.04 - funeral for a friend
10.17.04 - don't go down to doldroms (pt. 2)
10.15.04 - baby come back
10.15.04 - help, i need somebody
10.11.04 - a passing feeling
10.04.04 - whatever the weather
10.01.04 - yes, no, yes, no .. maybe
09.29.04 - and then again
09.29.04 - all I find are souvenirs of better times
09.27.04 - i want to knock if off the line
09.22.04 - I get along
09.21.04 - can't see the silver linings for the clouds
09.14.04 - orange crush
09.09.04 - gee your hair smells terrific
09.07.04 - The Slow Wonder
09.03.04 - revised, revising, revision: visions
09.02.04 - all the highs and the lows
08.31.04 - say something new
08.25.04 - yes, i know you are
08.24.04 - feeling old and shot and how (pt.3)
08.23.04 - drop kick is the new kick ass
08.17.04 - one of us misread....what do you know?
08.13.04 - friday, i'm in love
08.10.04 - don't go back to squawksville
08.06.04 - leave less waiting
08.06.04 - i was here, you were there ...
08.05.04 - a million dollars doesn't go as far as it used to
08.03.04 - go away!!!
08.02.04 - don't worry if things end up a bit heavy
07.30.04 - in the season of the old me
07.28.04 - the road to run
07.26.04 - totally bitchin' 80s
07.23.04 - noise on noise
07.20.04 - in the summer heat, I might
07.15.04 - ocean breathes salty
07.13.04 - gold in the air of summer
07.09.04 - I put my game face on with a smile...
07.08.04 - right right now now
07.06.04 - all-american
06.30.04 - halfway to all the way
06.28.04 - hello, anyone?
06.24.04 - wash it down, wash it out....
06.09.04 - what you see is what you ...
06.04.04 - same old, same old
06.03.04 - time, time, time....see what's become of me
06.02.04 - cocktails on me
06.01.04 - vacation all i ever wanted
05.27.04 - jinx-removing, slo-mo
05.26.04 - get my freak on
05.25.04 - crazy insane
05.20.04 - by Friday life has killed me
05.20.04 - yeah, it comes alive
05.18.04 - damn, again and again
05.17.04 - learned and burned (out)
05.15.04 - i dreamed i stopped dreaming
05.14.04 - i am burning a way through it
05.12.04 - nobody knows
05.10.04 - heartache in the house of home
05.05.04 - the light at the end of the ...
04.30.04 - mother to a sister of a thought (pt .2)
04.29.04 - goodbye to all that...(pt. 2)
04.28.04 - reality, checked
04.27.04 - little pink houses
04.26.04 - keeping the wind at my back
04.24.04 - i do not want what i haven't got?
04.20.04 - crushing, crushed
04.19.04 - in the vicinity of infinity
04.16.04 - maybe this is what i'm shooting for
04.14.04 - but you're a big girl now
04.13.04 - tired
04.09.04 - in which I am not so miserable
04.09.04 - in which i am not bling-bling
04.02.04 - suddenly, stars
03.31.04 - and that was that (part 2)
03.30.04 - evil is as evil does...part 2
03.30.04 - rainy days and tuesdays always get me down
03.29.04 - triple-milled tired
03.24.04 - keep on keeping on
03.24.04 - right about now
03.23.04 - when i come around
03.22.04 - picking apart everything you used to know (pt.2)
03.18.04 - hey now there's the sun
03.12.04 - friday is as friday does
03.12.04 - love is hell
03.11.04 - eyes wide open
03.10.04 - free until they cut me down
03.09.04 - here's a little secret
03.08.04 - six hits of sunshine
03.05.04 - quiet, disquieting
03.04.04 - moments, moments, moments
03.02.04 - remember to breathe
02.27.04 - greetings in braille
02.26.04 - free to be you and me
02.24.04 - are we gonna be alright?
02.21.04 - make your point, so what's the deal?
02.17.04 - static on the radio
02.16.04 - don't mess with Texas
02.10.04 - why do you come here? and whyyyy do you hang around?
02.06.04 - lemon, lime...
02.02.04 - over and over and over
01.30.04 - i should be expe11ed from class, i don't know my elbow from my ass
01.27.04 - date with the night
01.26.04 - so this is the new year and i don't feel any different
01.23.04 - what say you?
01.22.04 - just like that, i'm on my way
01.21.04 - repeat after me
01.21.04 - this entry has been rated PG-13
01.16.04 - here comes the chaos, perfectly on time again
01.14.04 - i'm rich as a hot noise (pt. 2)
01.14.04 - so this is it
01.13.04 - i'm rich as a hot noise
01.12.04 - play it as it lays
01.07.04 - and lead you down that road again...
01.05.04 - some shelter would be alright
01.01.04 - happy new year
12.31.03 - and never brought to mind
12.29.03 - ring in the new
12.24.03 - the most wonderful time of the year
12.23.03 - 34 Candles
12.22.03 - if i could do just one near perfect thing i'd be happy
12.18.03 - revolution + desire (pt.2)
12.17.03 - it's what you like to do
12.16.03 - the more i try, the more i give in
12.15.03 - fell in love with a girl
12.12.03 - and that was that
12.11.03 - from a shell (pt. 3)
12.09.03 - hall of mirrors
12.06.03 - the end is not end
12.03.03 - little disturbances all in a row
12.01.03 - rain falls for wind....
11.28.03 - muchas gracias
11.26.03 - this and that and then again...
11.25.03 - gouge away
11.21.03 - huh? wha? nevermind...
11.17.03 - wish you were here
11.14.03 - bend to squares
11.13.03 - wake me without warning...
11.11.03 - lights are changing
11.10.03 - let's push things forward
11.07.03 - less than zero
11.06.03 - i won the battle, but it's winning the war
11.04.03 - all my friends are taking pills, why can't i?
11.04.03 - black and blue
11.03.03 - sound it off
10.31.03 - tiny windows
10.30.03 - 24 hour party people
10.24.03 - circles and squares
10.24.03 - brrrrr....
10.23.03 - taking off on yourself
10.22.03 - between the bars
10.21.03 - what a day to feel alright
10.20.03 - pieces of me...
10.14.03 - what makes you
10.13.03 - lost in space
10.08.03 - this is the long stretch
10.08.03 - the morning after
10.07.03 - in one more minute i'll be gone...
10.06.03 - things to get me over...
10.06.03 - an awful shade of blue...
10.03.03 - footnotes to an index of some thoughts
10.02.03 - the more things change, the more things stay...
10.01.03 - baby, you're a star...
09.30.03 - needles and pins
09.29.03 - evil is as evil does...
09.29.03 - come help me shoot it all down
09.27.03 - blowing smoke
09.24.03 - comes whipping, comes whirling... (pt. 2)
09.23.03 - jumbled, jumbling...
09.23.03 - feeling old and shot and how
09.22.03 - is this how you wanted it to be?
09.18.03 - stumble into quiet
09.17.03 - a night in the life ....
09.16.03 - this is the real life, strange...
09.16.03 - invisible tomorrow
09.12.03 - when the man comes around
09.11.03 - welcome to the occupation
09.11.03 - picking apart everything you used to know
09.10.03 - 16 is the loneliest number
09.09.03 - see how we all come down slowly
09.08.03 - this is all I wanted, this is all I need...
09.03.03 - drop that ball, drive that car, ruin that scene
09.03.03 - hell is for hell
09.02.03 - questions, redux
09.01.03 - questions and answers
08.29.03 - simmering, seething, waiting to boil over...
08.28.03 - anthem for a freakout
08.21.03 - what you left in the dark
08.20.03 - almost almost almost ... what?
08.20.03 - but what will the media call us?
08.19.03 - girl, boy, girl, boy?
08.17.03 - chance on parade
08.15.03 - and when i see me, i think it's upside down
08.14.03 - i know a girl named Thursday...
08.13.03 - bling it on...
08.13.03 - you shouldn't think everything you feel
08.11.03 - fried my little brains
08.08.03 - i raced you to the top
08.07.03 - the camera gets a stuttered shot..
08.06.03 - day three of my new life
08.04.03 - and i live in a town where the girls amputate their brains*
08.04.03 - why why why why is it always like this? (pt. 2)
08.04.03 - back on the bus, y'all...
07.31.03 - i've only just begun
07.28.03 - and bring back all of those happy days...
07.24.03 - a rush of mood to the head...
07.23.03 - a day in the life of the bling bling
07.22.03 - dead-end American dreaming...
07.21.03 - no rolling back
07.17.03 - aural disturbances
07.16.03 - i want the life that money can buy
07.15.03 - you don't have to twist the knife
07.14.03 - i know you know me very well...
07.10.03 - just add water, i'm disappointed...
07.07.03 - the secret life of birds...
07.07.03 - a quick station break
07.02.03 - you'll breathe into ease
07.02.03 - kick me inside, kick me out, kick me off..
07.01.03 - girls are stupid
06.30.03 - girl, interrupted...
06.30.03 - dying in stereo (pt. 2)
06.28.03 - midsummer night's dreamland...
06.26.03 - the secret life of...
06.25.03 - screaming 'balls to you, daddy' i ain't never coming back...
06.24.03 - one by one all day...
06.20.03 - i remember when the days were long
06.20.03 - baby, i'm a porn star
06.19.03 - je le veux, je le veux
06.17.03 - supa dupa fly
06.17.03 - undone
06.17.03 - you've only got yourself to blame...
06.16.03 - cat scratch fever...
06.13.03 - not a single, lonesome sound....
06.13.03 - seeing is believing
06.12.03 - oh me oh my, i wanna do right, but not right now..
06.12.03 - on with the show - this is it!
06.11.03 - one little song that ain't been sung...
06.10.03 - goodbye to all that...
06.10.03 - in the season of the old me
06.04.03 - dying in stereo
06.03.03 - once it's off you never want to turn it on anymore....
05.30.03 - there's a dream in my brain...
05.28.03 - comes whipping, comes whirling...
05.26.03 - ghost riders of my heart...
05.25.03 - butcher the songs
05.23.03 - leave them burning, then you're gone
05.23.03 - it's hot in herre
05.21.03 - and the shine with its sheen...
05.20.03 - when summer is sweet and all green
05.19.03 - it was this, it was this, it was....
05.19.03 - i wanna be sedated...
05.16.03 - ring of fire...
05.16.03 - smash the disco ball....
05.15.03 - sing low, sing high...
05.15.03 - People, Places and Things...
05.15.03 - wow and flutter
05.14.03 - a tweak here, a tweak there...
05.13.03 - i just want to be happy half the time and blue only when i have the time...
05.08.03 - here i dreamt it was all happening again...
05.05.03 - the key to my heart is cherry-red
05.05.03 - keep on a rockin' me baby...
05.02.03 - the final push to the sum
04.30.03 - that's my voice rising...
04.30.03 - so i made peace with your melodies
04.25.03 - Hey sister, go sister, soul sister ....
04.24.03 - when you were the one worth leaving...
04.24.03 - it only hurts when i breathe
04.22.03 - i burn letters that I write...
04.18.03 - two-headed girl, all floating in glass...
04.17.03 - life's not a storybook...
04.16.03 - bright and shiny and not so new...
04.15.03 - from a shell (pt. 2)
04.13.03 - days to remember
04.05.03 - la discusi�n viaja en mi cabeza
04.03.03 - excuse me, i believe you have my stapler...
04.03.03 - in which i try to solve really important matters..
04.03.03 - that's not the way that it's done...
04.01.03 - if you decide to stop this little game you're playing...
03.28.03 - slow motion conspiracy
03.27.03 - well it's easy when you don't know better...
03.26.03 - do you like it like that?
03.25.03 - hot hot hot
03.24.03 - press play and repeat...
03.22.03 - the unbearable quietness of being..
03.20.03 - qu� se siente como cuando un coraz�n est� batiendo *
03.19.03 - so this is how it goes...
03.18.03 - funny the difference a day makes
03.17.03 - amanda, remembered...
03.17.03 - things to remember you by...
03.13.03 - once I really listened, the noise it just went away (or, how The Shivers Got Her Groove Back)
03.11.03 - A Very (Un)Special Shivers
03.11.03 - count the miles, one by one...
03.07.03 - all our aspirations soon go free...
03.06.03 - revolution + desire
03.05.03 - come on let's do this ...
03.04.03 - sweetheart fever
03.03.03 - wa-wa-wahhhhhhhhhh
03.03.03 - tear off your own head (pt. 2)
02.28.03 - i never knew how this would go...
02.26.03 - from a shell, into the night
02.25.03 - in this world of people, how will you recognize me?
02.22.03 - just up to my same old tricks....
02.20.03 - it's wanting what you've got...
02.20.03 - every song i sing
02.20.03 - in a young girl's mind it's a different world ....
02.19.03 - can't hard1y wait...
02.18.03 - my mind is like a rollercoaster, baby...
02.14.03 - nothing is safe...the heart is never tamed...
02.13.03 - every party has a winner and a loser
02.13.03 - half of you, all of me...and nothing in between...
02.11.03 - patterned swirlies and lightheaded girlies..
02.10.03 - The $8.08 State
02.04.03 - right out of your hand...
02.03.03 - what's the frequency kenneth...
02.03.03 - all quiet on the western front...
02.01.03 - like stars, like remembering....
01.31.03 - just a shot away...
01.31.03 - you ain't seen nothin' yet...
01.30.03 - dreamed i was a tidal wave...
01.30.03 - i'm waiting for the heartaches to come...
01.28.03 - reduced to the parts of my sum ...
01.26.03 - intersection, reaction, proactive...
01.24.03 - forever and ever your girl...
01.24.03 - i know you can buy it in bottles...
01.23.03 - extra-ordinary, super-freak
01.23.03 - one is the loneliest number...
01.22.03 - damn straight....
01.22.03 - what would the community think?
01.21.03 - i'd dance and sing until I fell...
01.21.03 - always look on the bright side of life...
01.21.03 - all that has me wanting more...
01.20.03 - don't tell me something i already know..
01.19.03 - crossbones style
01.16.03 - money changes everything... (pt. 2)
01.15.03 - money changes everything...
01.15.03 - day 15 of my new life...
01.10.03 - the execution of all things...
01.09.03 - bright and shiny, it's just something to dream about..
01.08.03 - don't go down to doldrums...
01.06.03 - some jingle-jangle afternoon
01.05.03 - i'm not sad, i'm just waiting....
01.02.03 - in visible light
12.31.02 - when january.....
12.30.02 - set it off...
12.27.02 - capturing moods....
12.26.02 - i don't mind braving the coldest winter of our time...
12.25.02 - tidings of comfort and joy....
12.23.02 - mysteries of your passing luck
12.20.02 - things you will one day know
12.19.02 - it's the light you're after because light moves faster...
12.18.02 - baby, i'm a star
12.18.02 - dancing a victory jig...
12.17.02 - wherein my head starts to implode...
12.17.02 - i scream, you scream, we all scream...
12.16.02 - i see the galaxy falling down...
12.12.02 - who, what, when, where, why and how
12.10.02 - big white clouds, tiny silver linings....
12.09.02 - i stand accused of being me (pt. 2)
12.08.02 - Sunday comes and Sunday goes...
12.05.02 - flickers and flames.....
12.04.02 - alert. quick. stop. over. and. out.
12.04.02 - this is how it goes....
12.03.02 - shine on....shine on...shine on....
12.03.02 - in which I realize I am woefully on the brink of losing it...
12.02.02 - too late to die young...
11.28.02 - let's start with the mountains, rivers and streams....
11.27.02 - it's oh-so-beautiful...
11.26.02 - breakbeat meditate (DJ Shivers remix)
11.21.02 - unravel, re-ravel, unravel, re-ravel...and so forth
11.20.02 - low battery transmission
11.18.02 - ...
11.15.02 - catch a tiger by its tail...
11.14.02 - you're no rock'n'roll fun....
11.12.02 - why why why why is it always like this?
11.12.02 - i keep my ears shut tight
11.11.02 - that's my story and i'm sticking to it...
11.11.02 - help me Mary please....
11.10.02 - punch drunk something
11.09.02 - the girl comes around
11.07.02 - you should know by now it's the small sounds...
11.07.02 - damn it feels good to be a gangsta...
11.05.02 - popularity is as popularity does...
11.05.02 - self-pity won't help you now (pt. 2)
11.05.02 - the beats in the sky....
11.04.02 - reason #437 why I don't like Mondays...
11.04.02 - maybe it's you, maybe it's me
10.31.02 - if you can dance you don't need a reason...
Thursday, Oct. 31, 2002 - Everyone else is doing it so why can't I?
10.30.02 - you can't live in the past but you can visit sometimes...
10.29.02 - walk out to winter...
10.28.02 - i saddled up my pony ride
10.23.02 - and not trying to escape....
10.23.02 - it varies from season to season...
10.21.02 - songs for the straight and narrow.....
10.18.02 - that's why i take pills (Pt. 2)
10.15.02 - wherein i try to be grateful once again
10.15.02 - wherein i whine like a little baby
10.15.02 - all the bridges blown away keep floating up
10.14.02 - what does good luck bring?
10.12.02 - everything feels like something....
10.10.02 - morning glories
10.09.02 - woke up this morning and got fooled again
10.03.02 - here i fall again
10.02.02 - daydream believer
09.30.02 - my achey-breaky self
09.27.02 - gray skies are gonna clear up (god, I hope NOT)
09.25.02 - you got me hanging on the telephone....
09.25.02 - it's only a hit and run after all...
09.24.02 - google redux,,,
09.24.02 - re: crazymaking....
09.21.02 - come on let's go
09.20.02 - where do I go to fall from grace?
09.16.02 - what makes all the little flowers grow?
09.16.02 - my autumn's come undone
09.13.02 - lonely is as lonely does and lonely is...
09.13.02 - things that scare me
09.11.02 - why don't you shake your tail for peace and love?
09.10.02 - wherein i reveal some of my more shallow pursuits
09.08.02 - i was saved by rock'n'roll (Part 33 1/3)
09.05.02 - for fuck's sake
09.04.02 - i could die from never letting go....
09.04.02 - i've got a TV eye on me...
09.03.02 - i stand accused of being me
08.31.02 - it'll take five fingers to black it out....
08.29.02 - you can do it again if you like.....
08.28.02 - you will hanker for an anchor to cling to...
08.27.02 - i'd like to get to know you well...
08.27.02 - another hatful of hollow
08.26.02 - when the starting part is finished...
08.23.02 - the whistle of distant dreams...
08.21.02 - are you out there in all that sunshine, waiting to derail?
08.20.02 - with every passing second....
08.19.02 - rockin' chickpea eggplant stew
08.19.02 - i can hear ringing of the bells
08.16.02 - firecrackers won't light up your face tonight
08.16.02 - self-pity won't help you now
08.15.02 - random in the key of G
08.15.02 - california dreaming....
08.14.02 - the world is an oyster locked in a shell
08.13.02 - i'll be your freak-a-zoid, why don't you come freak (out) with me?
08.13.02 - perhaps, perhaps, perhaps....
08.13.02 - what's a girl to do when she's locked up and feeling blue?
08.12.02 - through the window, briefly
08.12.02 - songs that I know you'll never hear...
08.09.02 - dreaming in 3-D
08.08.02 - it's really not that complicated....
08.08.02 - shake it don't break it....
08.07.02 - counting down the breakdown...
08.07.02 - i like these noises in my head....
08.06.02 - make hay while the sun shines....
08.06.02 - i'm just fine with an ordinary kind of day
08.05.02 - birds fly backwards ....
08.04.02 - half my heart knows the beat....
08.03.02 - it comes and goes like a pop song...
08.02.02 - She said �do you know?� �.and that�s what started it all�.
08.01.02 - another chain reaction
08.01.02 - too close for comfort
07.29.02 - i know a girl, a girl named party....
07.29.02 - i can hear the jet engines circle....
07.26.02 - another one bites the dust
07.26.02 - i just can't find the time to write my mind the way i want it to be
07.23.02 - here in the heart lurks a silly hope....
07.23.02 - crouching freak girl, hidden meanings...
07.23.02 - sister to a sister of a thought
07.22.02 - get these mysteries outta my head..
07.21.02 - 10, 9, 7, 8...
07.20.02 - except perhaps a certain someone
07.19.02 - you can just shrug it all off...
07.19.02 - love's a crying baby I warned you not to shake
07.18.02 - she likes to dance when it's dark inside ...
07.17.02 - suddenly single
07.16.02 - the shivers trips on a cloud....
07.16.02 - how many times must i beg, steal or borrow?
07.16.02 - work in the key of E
07.15.02 - shoe gazing and beyond
07.13.02 - great balls of fire
07.11.02 - the dancing girls are set to twirl and swirl
07.11.02 - let the Paul times roll ...
07.11.02 - sooner, swooner, days go by
07.09.02 - am i a chicken or an egg?
07.09.02 - you can't feel the beat if you don't take the heat