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that was then, this is now ...

So yes, the worse things get, the..uh...worse they get.

No, actually things are better. But, still.

So, what happened was...I went over to G's house on Monday night after class, two bottles of wine in tow.

We talked for three hours. She told me about the drama with T's old high-school friend and his wife. Like crazy backwoods, rednecked, I-thought-that-only-happened-in-the-movies drama. It was way worse than what B & T had told me. Lawsuits may happen. Against them. And also against the hospital (T fell out of his hospital bed due to improper/lack of supervision --something which may have caused the actual brain shear).

But that wasn't the worst of it.

The worst came when G told me what happened when she took T's phone so that she could start contacting all his clients to let them know what happened. And he got a text from a friend. A female friend. The text itself was innocent enough and initially G. responded in a friendly manner--even added her to the group text message list for updates on T's condition.

And then she scrolled up through the text messages and learned that the two had been conducting a non-physical affair for two years. Two years.

There were also super-flirty texts with an ex.

"I'm not the jealous type," G said. "But this is all too much for even me."

The shit goes much deeper but long story short she told him once they got back home (well by 'home' I mean the hospital here). She told him she'd stick with him through rehab but he has to go to therapy. He has to understand why what he did was wrong (initially he defended it saying 'nothing' happened. Maybe nothing physical, but...). He agreed. He said he loved her. He said, however, he felt something was missing from their marriage.

Then G related to me the huge problems with self-loathing and self-esteem he's had since childhood. I would have never ever guessed. Isn't it crazy what we hide from most of the world?

It reminded me too much of my past
my past and so I shared stories with her and told her how ultimately it actually brought C and I closer.

And then I felt sick to my stomach for what I'd put C through. And then I felt sick to my stomach because I had to tell him G's story.

In the last three days I've cried a lot.

We visited T last night at the hospital. He doesn't know we know yet. G will tell him later. We've resolved to stick by them both. We've resolved to be better to each other, to not take each other for granted. All of that.

That was all so long ago for me (has it really been 12+ years?!) but thinking about it now is still painful.

I guess the good news in all this is that he will be released either this week or next. Months of out-patient rehab and no real word on when he can return to work or drive but it's better than the possible year of hospitalization that once seemed possible.

When we saw him last night he looked much better than I'd expected and he was fairly lucid (he said a few odd things a and sometimes slurred his words) but, as he pointed out, he's definitely better off than the stroke victims with whom he's been doing therapy.

We both gave him huge hugs at the start and end of our visit.

"I'm going to tell him I love him," C told me. "Despite everything with G--or maybe because of everything with G--he needs to hear that."

Sorry for such a rambling post.

3:23 pm - 10.10.13

sounds:
words:
i am:

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previously on ... - next time on ...

Hello, 2014 - 06.01.14 - 1:51 pm

good tidings... - 30.12.13 - 3:00 pm

Assassinate December - 09.12.13 - 11:36 am

But who will play me in the movie of my life? - 06.12.13 - 11:59 am

Lookin' out forever - 28.10.13 - 12:00 pm

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