| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- on getting through the day Why pretend otherwise? Things have been tough lately. The toughest they've been in ages, years...I feel as though I'm in a sinkhole, scrambling frantically and pointlessly in an attempt to climb up the slippery, all-absorbing sides. The house is a ticking time bomb. I estimate we have at least three months but I'm hoping for something closer to six months. I have no hope for keeping the house any longer--I just want to pay off that one damn credit card and put a little something in savings. Every time I think I get closer to making a dent in this debt something comes along to slap me upside the house. This month it's the $3100 tax bill and the notion that we need to adjust our with holdings so that we make even less. We made $40,000 less last year than we did before--how's that for a reality check? It's taken nearly two years but I feel like I'm stupidly and finally learning to live within the new budget. When I go back and look at my spending it seems as though I was still acting as if we had these great salaries. We don't. Anyway, without going into all the boring details the long and short of it is that I'm giving myself 12-18 months to figure this out. If, by next summer, things still seem so dire financially then I will start to think about finding a "real" "full-time" job to replace the two part-time jobs (teaching and writing). You know, something that's 9-5 and salaried and with benefits. But until then I am trying to really focus on the writing of the books. Hoping A. will get back into the game soon but I know her husband's cancer is emotionally all-consuming now (he is doing better though, thank god). For now I'm taking a writing workshop with the intention that it will kickstart my other novel and force to adhere to deadlines. That's how I roll. And that's what gets me through the day--the hope I hold onto that somehow I can make this writing career work. Other things that get me through the day: The spouse. My awesome cats, including the year-old kitten who crawls onto chest every morning for little snuggles. My close friends--the ones who know I'd like to just NOT talk about it all right now. Red wine and ice cold beer. Chocolate. Working out. Good books. Sunshine. 4:29 pm - 03.04.11
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money can't buy happiness but it does buy small pieces of of serenity - 15.07.12 - 4:29 pm sh)t's about to get real, y'all - 31.05.12 - 9:46 am why the hell not? - 29.04.12 - 8:38 pm Hear that lonesome whistle blow... - 02.04.12 - 5:18 pm a faith in something I can't see - 30.03.12 - 3:33 pm |
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