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just up to my same old tricks....

Saturday - early evening.

I'm exhausted (from working an 11-hour day yesterday) yet I can't sleep....and not for a lack of trying.

Settled down in bed w/ GB for a nap --laid there listening to his breathing become deep and rhythmic.

Finally slipped into sleep and the phone rang, it was Girl Star canceling on our plans for tonight.

She's sick - told her not to worry about it.

Crawled back into bed - GB didn't even twitch when the phone rang. Laid there as the afternoon sun dimmed and the room faded from a glow into a pale dusk and then total darkness.

But no sleep.

I laid there for an hour. Every sound, real and imagined, made me start. Finally jus got up (leaving the spous there, nestled in bed) ...and so here I sit....

GB said he'd go out w/ me tonight if Girl Star canceled (I'd had an inkling)...so if this exhaustion doesn't get the best of me yet perhaps we'll go get dinner ... I would like to spend some time with him when we're not

A) Watching T.V.

B) Sleeping

C) Doing taxes or something similar

E) Arguing

Can I just say that this working-full-time/going-to-school/trying-to-maintain-marriage/trying-to-maintain-friendships thing is tough? Not to mention trying to stay even remotely healthy.

The stress is taking its toll in numerous ways: back aches, a mini case of hives, headaches, forgetfulness, cranky moods, generally feeling disoriented half the time

....and i haven't even been finding time to write....

i need to win the lottery or something....

Someone outside just drove by in his big ol' booming wannabe low-rider car....thank you so much for sharing the vibrations....

...this morning K & I went for a walk and then for coffee where we sat and watched people....at the same time we noticed this woman walk in with her stroller and child. She was tiny and thin and had blonde hair piled on top of her head and that was something about her that screamed :I am a mother, this is my status in life and I carry it like a Gucci bag

I guess you would have had to see her to understand....

or maybe it's just us - we're like Enid & Rebecca from Gho$t Wor1d...it's kind of sad really....

i think i'm going to go take a shower now....anything to stop feeling so pointless and stupid...

7:08 pm - 02.22.03

sounds: cars that go boom
words: Mi1an Kundera: The Unbearab1e Lightne$$ of Being
i am: drinking a Diet Coke and feeling mopey (so what else is new?)

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previously on ... - next time on ...

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Hear that lonesome whistle blow... - 02.04.12 - 5:18 pm

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