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Yes, with many

Emailed P (BioMom) yesterday with pictures of the cats because that's what she asked for.

Received an email from my stepdad this morning.

It was addressed to me and my two stepsisters.

I am lost as to what to do. P. is very private and will not burden anyone with her issues. As a result one could feel left out. But, please do not feel that way for she would not want that either. If I inform you to much that could burden you as well. But, I feel you want to be and should be aware of how and where she is.

None of us like it or are prepared for it but must recognize the P. in on the way to a different and higher level of life. She and I are fortunate. We needed and found one another and it is very hard to let go. She is close to letting go and though it breaks my heart I can not and would not stop her because she has suffered enough.

This is to give you an update but I will skip many details for they serve you no purpose. What I can say is that her spirit is strong but her body is not and is not improving nor will it. When her body is ready to let go her spirit may keep her here a little longer. But, when her spirit is ready it will let her let go. In time I believe we will reunite. It is the time until then that is hard on us. But, this is not about us, it is about her. Trust me, she will be better off at the next level than she is now and that may be sooner than we are prepared for - but no one knows when.

This may sound strange to some but when she lets go and passes on please be happy for her. She deserves far better than what she now has. Cry and be sad for us because we will miss her more than I can say. But, we too will pass and we will meet again.

Remember, anyone truly loved is never totally lost. P. will happily live in our hearts, minds, and memories for as long as we are on earth. And, when we pass on, she will greet us with open arms.

And, if you were ask if this is written with tears, the answer is Yes, with many.

I had hoped that I could see her but it's becoming pretty clear that she doesn't want that. I am trying to not take this personally. Her death is not about me. Her death is her personal journey.

At this point I'm not even sure if there will be a funeral or a memorial service. If there is not I will need to try to find some way to create closure in their absence.

10:30 am - 16.09.15

sounds:
words:
i am:

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previously on ... - next time on ...

a shell - 18.09.15 - 12:43 pm

Another thing to wonder - 17.09.15 - 1:12 pm

Please, go gently into that good night - 17.09.15 - 11:39 am

it's also true I lost the map - 17.09.15 - 9:52 am

through the day - 16.09.15 - 12:59 pm