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not a moment too soon

My brothers are low-key petty arguing over when we sell the house and both of them are trying to put me in the middle of it. Which, of course, I am in the middle as the trustee, etc, but playing mediator isn't any fun. Factor in that my mother is being oddly short-tempered with S., the oldest of my brothers, and it's exhausting.

Sure, he can be irritating as all get out but he's trying so very hard right now to watch out for her--is her pain level manageable? Does she need someone to stay the night? Can he bring her a sandwich? Did he bring the right towels over?

It's like the harder he tries, the snippier she gets with him.

I tell him it's the pain talking, the exhaustion, etc. But it's wearing on him.
When he's not around I make sure to tell my mother how he's trying to help--how he *is* helping.

She's snapped at me a few times, too, and mostly I just shrug it off. You're dying, you can be irritated with the whole fucking world as far as I'm concerned. Though, maybe, be a little more patient with your oldest son. This has hit him so hard.

My spring break started yesterday and let me tell you it arrived not a moment too soon. I have so much to catch up on this week but I fully intend to sneak in some lazy sitting around, looking out the window, coffee-sipping, book-reading moments.

11:04 am - 13.04.19

sounds:
words:
i am:

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previously on ... - next time on ...

tiny failures every day - 17.06.19 - 11:14 am

mourning the loss of her house - 30.05.19 - 8:39 pm

Goodbye, I love you. I love you, goodbye. - 19.05.19 - 3:40 pm

incredible lightness of being - 27.04.19 - 7:13 pm

weeks probably, maybe a month - 19.04.19 - 1:49 pm

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