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motion sickness

The last week or so has been weird, emotionally speaking. I can't put a finger on it.

Depression? Anxiety? Restlessness? Stress?

I'm having difficulty focusing and in part I wonder if it's just because three weeks into my summer break I don't have the go-go-go pull to keep going.

I *do* have some deadlines, including a big one for Monday. I really need to focus today and get at least a third of my draft done.

My brother, S., and I have been dealing with some tensions lately but we had a good talk yesterday and it seems like maybe (mayyybe) he is actually taking the pandemic a little more seriously. I really hope so. In any case we talked about what it would've been like if Mom had still been alive, sick with cancer now - in hospice where we couldn't spend time with her like we did every day when she was dying. It's a sobering thought.

Unrelated, I finally quit the weekly paper where I've been either freelancing or working part-time on staff since I started teaching at the start of 2017. It's not that I won't write for them again (I hope) but right now they don't have any use for me (thanks to the pandemic and how it's hit the business) and this will give me the opportunity to freelance elsewhere locally. It feels weird though, like part of my identity has been sliced off. Maybe that's part of the general sense of malaise and unease I've been feeling. Not the whole of it, but a sliver at least.

OK, I'm going to try to focus. Really.

11:32 am - 17.06.20

sounds:
words:
i am:

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previously on ... - next time on ...

bird by bird and all that - 01.07.20 - 12:51 pm

see our reflections in the water - 28.06.20 - 1:31 pm

in which 2020 Me prepares to bore Future Me - 26.06.20 - 6:35 pm

i can't sleep because my bed's on fire - 25.06.20 - 1:46 pm

motion sickness - 17.06.20 - 11:32 am

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