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quť se siente como cuando un corazůn estŠ batiendo *

(* yes, I know my Spanish is bad - but i think you get the idea) A warm sunny spring afternoon. Is today the first day of spring? I think it is Ö How ironicÖ bombs are dropping thousands of miles away and here, flowers are blooming and the sun is shining, hot and proud and itís as if nothing was amiss.

But everything just sort of continues on, doesnít it?

It does.

So how do we learn from lessons? How do we take what we need from them before the essence of whatís important evaporates into the sharp, thin air?

At Aís memorial, SJ and I joked about getting tattoos just like the ones she had. The little galaxy of blue stars Ö

And on the drive home I thought more and more about it and more and more it seemed like a fitting idea.

And when I e-mailed SJ to tell her this, she didnít think I was crazy (at least she didnít tell me I was crazy). And GB didnít tell me that I was crazy.

And even if I am crazy maybe itís just another small way of reminding me of what it was I was supposed to be learning here.

Goodness, everything is so surreal right now. At Target last night, all the TVs in the electronics department were glowing green and buzzing like the sound of firecrackers.

And the radio crackles constantly.

And the newspaper type is grossly gigantic.

And meanwhile, Iím sitting here on the first day of spring trying to reconcile the feeling of never making the right step or knowing the right direction or the right thing to say with the action of simply doing.

5:20 pm - 03.20.03

sounds: Ibrahim Ferr*r
words: Wonder When You'11 Miss Me
i am: perpetual

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previously on ... - next time on ...

money can't buy happiness but it does buy small pieces of of serenity - 15.07.12 - 4:29 pm

sh)t's about to get real, y'all - 31.05.12 - 9:46 am

why the hell not? - 29.04.12 - 8:38 pm

Hear that lonesome whistle blow... - 02.04.12 - 5:18 pm

a faith in something I can't see - 30.03.12 - 3:33 pm

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