free until they cut me down

Went back to the doctor yesterday and whined pitifully about how tired I am of being sick, sick, sick.

After listening to me breathe and looking in my ears and taking my temp, the doc concluded that, yes indeed I do still have bronchitis....but this time out the antibiotics probably wouldn't help.

So instead he prescribed me some steroids. Steroids!

I have to take them for 12 days starting with massive doses and then gradually working down to much smaller doses (in short, attacking my system and then weaning myself off the drugs)

Lemme tell you - I could almost immediately feel the effects. They're supposed to shrink my bronchial passages and not only did I not cough myself to sleep (of course the extra high-strength codeine cough medicine didn't hurt), but after I took the pills (around 6pm) I suddenly (within 20 minutes) had tons of energy. The doctor said it would probably do that - might make me a bit jittery in fact. The jitters lasted for about a half hour and then after that I was just really awake and alert and ready to go. This after months of just wanting to sleep, sleep, sleep no matter how much I did actually sleep.

Of course this meant I was awake really late last night - but I also got a lot done. In addition to finishing my homework I also watched Amer1ca's Next Top Model (but boo to the rehash episode although some of the bonus footage was good), read, cleaned the kitchen and did a load of laundry. I was just about to start doing a weight workout when GB came home from band practice and pointed out that it was 12:30 a.m. and I had to be up early for a long day at school.

But still. I'm telling you if it weren't for the excess body hair, weight gain and facial distortion (a widening of the face is common) that come with prolongued steroid use, I'd be all over this for the rest of eternity.

Oh well.

In any case, school tonight and I've really got spring fever and want nothing to do with Gertrude Ste1n and her ilk or workshopped stories or what have you...but hopefully once I am there the school mood will kick in and I'll enjoy myself. I'm really shocked at how much more I'm liking this semester compared to last semester - even though it's just as hard and time-consuming. I'm not quite sure what it is. Is it me? After all last semester was really hard not just for school reasons. There was the whole lump, damn lump thing that really made me anxious and scared and, I think, contributed to a lot of crying jags in the bathroom at work. There was a very very hellish social schedule that involved three out-of-town trips in as many months plus a build up of holidays and birthdays. There was my writing, which in restrospect I think I was trying too hard at - meaning I wasn't really listening to my voice. There was also my general dislike of most of the people in my fiction workshop. What's odd is that half those people are in this semester's workshop and now, for some reason, most of them don't seem to bother me at all. I mean there are flashes of annoyance- but I'm not consumed with the overwhelming sense of snark and disgust that seemed to eat away at me last semester.

This is a good thing and perhaps I should not question it so much....

12:25 pm - 03.10.04

sounds: 1ron & W1ne
words: Gertrude Ste1n - AGAIN
i am: all sorts of things


previously on ... - next time on ...

money can't buy happiness but it does buy small pieces of of serenity - 15.07.12 - 4:29 pm

sh)t's about to get real, y'all - 31.05.12 - 9:46 am

why the hell not? - 29.04.12 - 8:38 pm

Hear that lonesome whistle blow... - 02.04.12 - 5:18 pm

a faith in something I can't see - 30.03.12 - 3:33 pm

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