daydream believer

Day 3 (4?) of my cold - the cold borne of the flu borne out of not enough sleep and always on the go-go-go. I do it to myself every time, I should learn. People warn me: don't take on too much, you'll get sick.

And I do, every single freakin' time.

I even joked to my school advisor that this is what would happen:

I'll just keep going until I get sick or have a nervous breakdown, I told her. (And this is true - I just didn't expect the body breakdown to happen so soon in the semester...)

Does that usually happen? she asked, concerned. What happens then?

I just take a few days off and then start over, I said. So blithely. So arrogant.


Damn germs -- they bitch-slapped me hard for that cheeky insolence...

Anyhoo...after days of sneezing and congestion and fevers and general misery I am doing a bit better - though I look a fright what with the red nose and blotchy skin - but elected to call in sick from work today (I worked yesterday and Monday at the height of the cold - although I did come in late and went home both days at 4). I figured I deserve a bit of a break. Especially since I have school tomorrow and then Friday night K and I are heading down to her family's beach house for five-and-a-halfs of relaxing.


OK. So maybe I *don't* deserve a break today if I'm coming up on a beach getaway. But I intend (don't laugh) to do a lot of studying while there (I swear - I HAVE to).

GB has been very understanding about the whole thing - me going to the beach w/out him, me being sick and generally cranky, me wanting to stay home today.

Anyway, I justified staying home as it would give me a chance to finish some homework that I'm behind on because I've been sick (though I did manage to finish two books ...) and clean up a bit around here.

He was also encouraging because it meant I could spend my morning on the computer trying to get Beck / Flaming Lips tickets during the special Internet-only presale.

It turned out to be a bit of a hassle because the Beck site was basically down due to excessive traffic and it took me 40 minutes to get the correct password so we only ended up with Grand Tier balcony seats (for a princely sum) but they're better than our Elvis Costello seats were and c'mon, we're talking BECK (my original indie crush boy) backed by the FLAMING LIPS...it's going to be so rockin'...it damn well better be....

Tonight is dinner w/ Angel Boy and Funny Girl (it's AB's birthday) and that should be odd.

The lowdown: AB & FG were an item for about 2 1/2 years. They had problems. Big problems. But each swore that the other was his/her lifelong love.

Nonetheless they broke up but continued to talk constantly.

Flash forward to the present and Angel Boy has taken up with an 18-year-old girl. She was 17 when they first started going out (he'll be 31 today).

This devastates FG.

AB says he still loves FG and one day they'll be together again - "once we both have our shit figured out".

FG says fuck you

AB's 18-year-old girlfriend is now living in a beach town going to school.

AB and FG will spend his birthday together.

But AB will go visit the gf this weekend.

It all just makes my head hurt.

I love them both and don't want to feel as if I'm in the middle and so it just kind of threw me for the proverbial loop when ol' Angel Boy called me up yesterday to invite me and the Mr. out to dinner w/ him and FG.

But I will go.

And deal with it.

And stew on it afterwards over wine w/ GB.

...the wind is doing its whipping thing right now. Very blustery outside. And cool - no make that downright chilly. It feels good to pad about the house in a long-sleeved shirt, boxer shorts and socks. Sipping hot coffee and playing the new Velvet Crush CD.

I could so do this work-from-home thing.

Though I seriously wonder how much work I'd get done.

...as I mentioned in the last entry, GB and I had a long, drawn-out talk this weekend about the state-of-our-future.

Not that "we" as an entity are in question - not at all. But rather where we'll end up and what our priorities our.

You see, I still have this fantasy that one day we'll pick up and move off to London or New York or Nashville even...

GB, back to work and all..., is not very interested in talking about such fantasies right now. He thinks I should just focus on getting through school and from there wants to start thinking about a house or even a little Shivers or little GB.

And while I am in agreement that I should get through school before anything happens ...still...it doesn't hurt to talk or dream about it does it?

In GB's mind it's impractical to even talk about it.

This is what you get when you put a practical person in the same room with a daydreamer - much less marry them.

I am, by my own admission, a daydreamin', flighty, impractical fool...

GB is the exact opposite.

In many ways he grounds me and I think I let him fly just a bit.

Sometimes this is great.

Sometimes it is frustrating.

Frustrating as all hell.

For the both of us, of course.

Damn...my damn cat will NOT let me type right now. She wants my attention. She wants me to play....and of course I did promise I would do homework today....

OK already...I'm going....

10:45 am - 10.02.02

sounds: Velvet Crush - Soft Sounds
words: Pink Think - Lynn Peril
i am: feeling a bit better...


previously on ... - next time on ...

money can't buy happiness but it does buy small pieces of of serenity - 15.07.12 - 4:29 pm

sh)t's about to get real, y'all - 31.05.12 - 9:46 am

why the hell not? - 29.04.12 - 8:38 pm

Hear that lonesome whistle blow... - 02.04.12 - 5:18 pm

a faith in something I can't see - 30.03.12 - 3:33 pm

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