-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

firecrackers won't light up your face tonight

Everything. Feels. Fucked.

I am having one of those moments where I hate being me.

Firecrackers exploding outside - it's summer fair time. Squeaking desk fan.

And me sitting inside alone on a Friday night because I felt compelled to throw a temper tantrum because I didn't think he was listening to me.

Ignoring me, in fact.

Maybe it's only because I'm tired - very tired - and yet was unable to sleep once my beloved nap time came around.

Maybe it's a build up of other things?

Maybe it's just me...forever the difficult one.

Sometimes sarcasm is fine and dandy and gets me through the day.

Other times it gets me through nothing but a glass wall - and not lightly.

Sometimes I really wish I was someone else.

Someone easy and cool named Jane dressed in polished clothes with confidence and, dare i say it, arrogance.

Instead of me. me. me.

Maybe if i took the meds again it would help.

But it's not like it's been a total rollercoaster lately - rather like a drive through hill country.

I roll along just swimmingly until I reach that inevitable dip in the road that leaves my stomach lurching and my entire being queasy.

Maybe it's just hormones.

Yeah, how stupid is THAT?

Either way.

It's a lonely old night and I've made the choice to sit here and simmer in my own ire - to the point of hanging up on him when he called to try and coax me out.

Simmer. Stew. Boil over. Turn off the fire.

10:26 pm - 08.16.02

sounds: sky rockets at night
words: eating them...
i am: what i am.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previously on ... - next time on ...

money can't buy happiness but it does buy small pieces of of serenity - 15.07.12 - 4:29 pm

sh)t's about to get real, y'all - 31.05.12 - 9:46 am

why the hell not? - 29.04.12 - 8:38 pm

Hear that lonesome whistle blow... - 02.04.12 - 5:18 pm

a faith in something I can't see - 30.03.12 - 3:33 pm

latest entry

about me

archives

notes

base

contact

random entry

guestbook

other diaries:

moodswing
secret-motel
yourtipsucks
sparkspark
arajane
fuck--that
birdandegg
gizzhead
veganfuckk
ratherbored
astralounge
boombasticat
oh-sweet-pea
but-whatever
gingeryette
ann-frank
dearedwin
soapboxdiner
myra-lee
reddirtgirl
kayemess
colddigits
miralogue
nudeplatypus
mrs-roboto
miserystar
allmadhere
widgetbitch
inarticulate