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what's a girl to do when she's locked up and feeling blue?

Letís see, so far this morning Iíve had to endure a 7:30 work meeting (I donít usually get up until 7:30), have lost a contact lens and have had my computer crash on me not once but twice.

Please donít let this be an indication of how the rest of the day will be.

Oh yeah, itís supposed to be at least 104 degrees today.

Can I just go back to bed Ė in a nice, air-conditioned room? Please?

And somebody please tell me how it suddenly became the middle of August?

I mean, really - did I sleep through the first half of the month?

School starts in TWO WEEKS and TWO DAYS.

This is so not good.

I have things to do! I have web sites to finish and books to start and places to go.

I donít have time for school. What was I thinking?

Oh wait, thatís the problem Ė I wasnít thinking.

I just jumped in headfirst.

And now, even though Iím still in on the shallow end Ė I already feel as if Iím drowning.

At lunch w/ Joke Girl on Saturday Ė she thought I ought to skip ahead to Plan B Ė just scrap Plan A altogether and go for Plan B.

On one hand I understand her thinking Ė Plan A is expensive and more uncertain in the future it will yield. It is at a very good school though.

Plan B is cheaper, safer and at everyoneís favorite West Coast bohemian intellectual school, Berkeley.

But still I canít shake this feeling that Iím supposed to at least try Plan A before I give up on it.

Hmmm. I just realized I havenít been to therapy in about six weeks. I donít really have any desire to go in any time soon.

Iím tired of talking about all the same old problems.

I feel too weighted down by the day-to-day of things to dabble in the theory of it allÖ.

And through it all I feel as if Iím forgetting something Ė that Iím neglecting something very important. And Iím afraid of that something eventually coming back to smack me upside the head.

I guess Iíll find out eventually.

10:53 am - 08.13.02

sounds: Ed Harcourt - Here Be Monsters
words: morning newspapers
i am: feeling frazzled...

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previously on ... - next time on ...

money can't buy happiness but it does buy small pieces of of serenity - 15.07.12 - 4:29 pm

sh)t's about to get real, y'all - 31.05.12 - 9:46 am

why the hell not? - 29.04.12 - 8:38 pm

Hear that lonesome whistle blow... - 02.04.12 - 5:18 pm

a faith in something I can't see - 30.03.12 - 3:33 pm

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