| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- in which i grade myself on a generous curve I'm still not really sure about this teaching thing. With about a month to go (actually, 6 classes, but who's counting? Me, that's who), it's still something of a roller-coaster for me. Bad days, meh days and then OK days. I'm trying not to be so hard on myself but I think that, at my best, I'm deserving of a B grade - which is about the average grade I'm giving out so far in this class. Sometimes I just look at my syllabus and think WTF - I don't know what to say to them! I think, perhaps, it would be better if, going forward (meaning, I'm asked back) that I devised my own syllabus and plan of study. But even then, the thought of seeing all those blank faces at 6:50 in the morning is kind of terrifying. It doesn't help that there is one student who is, I'll admit, starting to get the best of me. He's one of the brightest and, apparently, I bore the fuck out of him. And maybe that wouldn't bother me so much except I know he loved the prerequisite to this class - felt challenged, blah-blah-blah. But, he pretty much told me outright in a recent reading journal that no-offense, but the class is boring him to death. Actually, his exact words were: "I know work's been subpar lately (as you noted). I never meant to offend you, that wasn't my aim. I know this is your first time teaching and that you are using someone else's syllabus but the structure of this class doesn't really engender creativity." And on one hand, I agree - to a point. And on the other hand, I'm thinking, I'm sorry, but why don't you put some effort into it and then see how bored you are? And what the hell does he want? The ability to write songs in class? Paint? That whole "doesn't engender creativity" thing - I honestly don't know what to do to make the class more creative. Thoughts? Anyone? Anyone? Maybe I shouldn't care what an 18-year-old punk thinks of my class. But I do. So, I'm going to ask him for some suggestions. He may still not give a fuck about this class but who knows, maybe he'll have wonderful suggestions that will change my approach. Or, maybe, he'll just give me that dead-behind-the-eyes look he's been so good at lately. Fuck, it really does bug me even more than I thought it would. I wanted to be good at this. I wanted the kids to love me even though I know it's not supposed to matter if they do or don't. I wanted to make some sort of difference instead of just being an academic time-waster. Blah. 5:37 pm - 14.04.08
sounds: wind ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- previously on ... - next time on ...
money can't buy happiness but it does buy small pieces of of serenity - 15.07.12 - 4:29 pm sh)t's about to get real, y'all - 31.05.12 - 9:46 am why the hell not? - 29.04.12 - 8:38 pm Hear that lonesome whistle blow... - 02.04.12 - 5:18 pm a faith in something I can't see - 30.03.12 - 3:33 pm |
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