it's only a hit and run after all...

Why do I even bother trying to figure anything out before I’ve had coffee? Really it’s a futile task.

Today: my eyes hurt like hell (why does my eye doctor – sorry, can’t spell the long-ass fancy word for this right now, requires too much thought – insist that my eyes are fine? Just “eye strain” she says.) my head hurts like hell (allergies) and I’m really tired (but then again, I’m always tired).

Last night I got to meet my first Diaryland acquaintance ever – the lovely allmadhere (and her friend M.). And yes, in case you were wondering I was a total dork and felt shy and awkward because that’s the way I always am when I’m around new people even people I kind of “know” through Diaryland.

Bah, sometimes I really annoy myself.

But that aside, she was quite nice and it sounds like a fun trip they are taking and I envied their upcoming journey to the beautiful Mt. Shasta….

GB is out of town today and tonight – I will treat myself to a super-large, extra-strength coffee and perhaps a scone and then sit down at the computer (oh my god, I almost typed “typewriter” – I do have a lovely manual typewriter that mom gave me when I was in high school – which I used to write my first poems on – but the keys stick and when it comes to the actual act of typing - i.e. no back / delete key, well I suck, I suck bad) and write write, rewrite, revise and proof.

And blast the music or M2 really loud.

Can I just say what a geek I am? I love having MTV2. The feeling it gives me reminds me of when I was in junior high and I so badly wanted us to get MTV like all the other kids (this was when you could opt out of having it as part of your basic cable package – which really worked out with my mother who believed –and probably still does to this day - that MTV would rot my soul from the inside out).

Now I get to sit in front of the TV – often while I’m doing other stuff (bills, magazine flipping, etc) and catch cool videos (Luna, Replacements, Onelinedrawing, Ben Kweller, White Stripes, etc) …it’s like sound/vision therapy.

Oh, and in addition to being a geek, I’m sure she thinks I’m a total bitch.

My friend S. from the Hipster Dance Night sure did (kind of jokingly – ‘what’s with you Shivers Girl – you used to be a person for the people!”) when I related this incident to him via e-mail this morning.

The scene: me, GB, her and her friend sitting in a booth at the Club.

GB goes to the bathroom. The rest of us keep talking. A few minutes later I feel a gigantic thud as someone sits down next to me – no make that practically on top of me. I turn around and see a Frat Boy-looking guy.

Frat Boy: Hey there – how’s it going

Me: great – but my husband’s sitting there , he’ll be back in a minute.

FB: No he’s not

Me: Um, yes he is.

FB: Well, I’m just warming it up for him.

Me: Um, no you’re not

FB. Yeah I am – he’s not here.

Me: He’ll be back in a minute.

FB: I know, but I’m just gonna sit here

(mind you, not only was he sitting there – in this booth – we weren’t at the bar, but he was practically sitting on top of me – serious body contact).

Me: You’re not sitting there – my husband is sitting there

FB: I’m just warming it up for him

Me: No you’re not – you’re going to move or else I’m going to call the bouncer over.

And that was that, he turned around and left without another word. I told GB about it and he was amazed at how bitchy I was (not in a bad way, but still kind of amazed – then again, he should know me better) but then laughed when he saw the guy later standing at the bar.

Eh, whatever. Bitchy. A bitchy geek. Whatever. I suppose I could’ve been nice but then again he could’ve been more polite.

Damn, it’s 11:15 a.m. and I haven’t done a lick of work yet. I guess I better get on that and all…

12:04 pm - 09.25.02

sounds: Sondre Lerche - Faces Down
words: Doris Lessing - the Fifth Child
i am: bitchy, a geek, tired....take your pick


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