| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- so this is how it goes... the memorial for Amanda at school was beautiful. Mostly just MFA English people - faculty and students. Amazing amounts of people getting up to talk, one by one, about what she meant to each and everyone of us... Amazing amounts of tears and laughter and even silence. And afterwards, hugs and long talks and people saying to one another: thank you for saying what you said about Amanda And isn't it funny - how it turns out that so many of us idolized her? Her ultra-hip style, her sassy energy, her goofy jokes, her warm, open heart and unfailing generosity.... We were like awe-struck teens in the presence of the cool, sophisticated older sister.... Oh, and those tattoos! The little blue stars on her forearm.... She was only 32, people. 32. All the way home I thought of her voice and her face (and the faces she would make) and her nagging (are you writing every day? You should be writing every day ...) and just the way she would listen ...and the last real conversation we had on the way to my car in the dark and her unyielding support and enthusiasm and the sheer belief she had not just in me but in every one of her students and friends. And I thought of the struggles I've been having this semester - the struggle to find motivation and a reason why I'm doing this ...and I thought OK - I get the picture, I get the idea - but you know, you could have given me the lesson in a much milder form... I get it. I understand. This is it. The here and now. We really have only one chance to be the person we hoped we could be... 6:52 am - 03.19.03
sounds: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- previously on ... - next time on ...
money can't buy happiness but it does buy small pieces of of serenity - 15.07.12 - 4:29 pm sh)t's about to get real, y'all - 31.05.12 - 9:46 am why the hell not? - 29.04.12 - 8:38 pm Hear that lonesome whistle blow... - 02.04.12 - 5:18 pm a faith in something I can't see - 30.03.12 - 3:33 pm |
||||||