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i can hear the jet engines circle....

I'm back at work and really don�t have much time to write

Then again I feel as if I have to � if only for myself.

What a horrible weekend.

I picked GB up at the Greyhound station at 5:30 a.m. Saturday morning. Picked him and the guitarist from the other band up, that is.

The other guy was supposed to come home early � for a wedding.

GB, of course, was not.

I don�t really want to go into it all here � it would require too much rehashing and energy and anger.

But the basics are: after 10 days of putting up with a 13 other guys who were putting drugs, partying and sex (mostly with prostitutes) before the actual band, GB decided he needed a break.

Especially after the incident with the beer bottle � the one that the singer from the other band threw from the stage, hitting a girl in the audience in the head. Um, the girl whose house they were supposed to stay at � and the night where most of the band was too fucked up too play.

The singer said he understood and that it was cool and hopefully GB could still play the final show in SF.

So everything was settled until the keyboardist called GB at the Greyhound station and proceeded to rip him apart for �having a chip on his shoulder� and �letting down the band�.

This from the guy who threatened to quit the band two days before because the rest of the band wouldn�t let him go off for the night with some girl he just met (this being the night when everything started to fall apart after the beer bottle incident)

This from the guy who spent most of the tour trying to solicit hookers and snort as much coke as possible.

Anyway. That was the nail in the coffin and after an agonizing weekend of thinking about it and a phone call this morning from the band�s manager � who has now also quit working with the band � GB has decided to move on.

He told the singer he couldn�t be in a band with the keyboardist and the singer said, that�s fine, I hope we can still be friends.

Hopefully he can get his equipment back unscathed�..I doubt we�ll ever see the $80 we / I loaned the singer�s girlfriend because otherwise she was going to bounce checks while he was on the road.

But whatever.

I am proud of GB. I know it was a really hard decision and he hates that it turned out this way.

Did I mention it was a horrible weekend?

The stress and anxiety and anger steeped itself into our personal life and despite the fact that we were both glad to see each other again we managed to fight off and on the entire weekend.

Horrible, horrible horrible.

Finally, it all began to hurt so much I had to leave the house yesterday around 7 p.m.

I didn�t know where to go or what to do. I just had to move.

After getting a soy milk latte I found myself at the record shop where I bought the Vines record and the new Magnet and the new Nylon.

Put the Vines into my car�s CD player and headed out on the freeway � into the setting sun.

Somewhere out past the housing developments but before the farm lands I pulled off the river exit, pointed my car back towards the city and parked on the side of the road with my back to the sun � watching the airplanes make their way � one by one � through the evening�s flight pattern.

There is something about sitting beneath planes flying so low I feel I could jump up and touch them that leaves me breathless.

I don�t know what it is. I�ve written pages and pages about it. I still don�t understand.

It at once calms me and electrifies me.

I am really strange like that.

I returned home sometime after 9 and we continued to fight and finally this morning we made up and GB dealt with the band stuff and now I hope we can move on.

Among the good things that happened this weekend / last part of last week

• finally got my Web site up. It�s still far from being done but at least it�s up there and I feel like I accomplished something. After much hair-pulling I even managed to move my Blogger blog from their server to mine. I feel like a true geek now. In a good way
• had a great time with Joke Girl shopping on the Haight and at Union Square. Spent way too much money and fell in love with a moisturizer that is more than my monthly car payment is.
• had a great time at the Thursday night show w/ K, the Kids and Angel Boy
• had seeming success with reformatting of hard drive on Mac. Hopefully it will stop being so damn snarky now
• vented w/ K re: stupid rumor over sushi on Friday night and got it out of my system

I feel as if I�m forgetting tons of stuff � I know I am but I guess none of it is that important or interesting �.

Tonight I think we � we being me and K and GB and the Kids � are going to all go see the new Austin Powers film.

We all need a good laugh�.

2:29 pm - 07.29.02

sounds: the Vines - Highly Evolved
words: work words, lots and lots of work words
i am: drinking Diet Cherry Coke and eating a chocolate/caramel Creme Saver

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