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Why do we call this place home?

It looks like I'll be going *home after all.

I spoke with P. on Saturday. Her voice was weak and, thanks to the drugs, she had a hard time following the conversation.

But there were moments of clarity, too.

"If you come out, you should know I don't look like I did before," she said to me.

"I know," I told her. "I'm prepared for that."

Am I?

J says early October. That feels so far away. And I'm a little surprised that my stepsister's visit is being given priority--simply because she and her husband had to cancel a trip from earlier this year due to flooding in Central Texas.

I'm her daughter--not stepdaughter, but daughter--is it wrong to want to see her sooner? What if later doesn't happen? Am I being selfish? Greedy?

For now I'm not pushing it. We are all grieving.

J seems to think we have a few weeks. I'm trying to trust that he's right. His latest email was jarring though. She's losing her eyesight. She's not eating. There's a chance she may go into inpatient care.

*Why do I still call it home? I haven't lived in that state for 32 years.

2:34 pm - 21.09.15

sounds:
words:
i am:

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previously on ... - next time on ...

grateful - 30.09.15 - 4:14 pm

things you learn about your biological mother in her final days - 28.09.15 - 8:47 pm

hold on, hold on - 26.09.15 - 3:54 pm

can't shake it off - 24.09.15 - 11:02 am

The anxious and the surreal - 22.09.15 - 3:43 pm

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