| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- mother to a sister of a thought (pt .2) Wow. OK, so I decided to follow her lead by following her instructions which were: 1.Go into your [Diaryland] archives. 2.Find your 23rd post (or closest to). 3.Find the fifth sentence (or closest to). 4.Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions. And this is what I came up with: But good lord, the idea of having children scares the hell out of me. (July 12, 2001) Did I mention, wow? I thought that like, Dearedwin, I would be able to sit back and say oh that was a long time ago -- my how things have changed. Um. Yeah so last night the spouse and I had a HUGE dramatic discussion on this very topic. Oh OK, we had a huge fight on it. It was one of those conversations that turns into a fight simply because emotions are so high and it's such a huge life-changing thing that it's hard to remain calm at times. We're talking about buying houses and I brought home some print-outs from the Internet - pictures of a cute a four-bedroom house in a quiet neighborhood. Something in our price range. And he looked at it and said well, four bedrooms and three bathrooms? I don't know if we need that much space. And I told him we might -- that if we were to have children - a child -- then more space in our price range would be a good thing. At worst we could completely change our minds on the kid thing and then buy a smaller house somewhere down the road. Anyway, to make a long night short, we talked and argued for quite a while on just when if ever we might be ready to have kids. He is so not ready to think about it and while I am not ready to put it into action (so to speak) but I am ready to think about it. I am 34 years old for heaven's sake....I'm not getting any younger. I have to think about. I have to keep it as a possibility. I have to consider the options. I have to know that a child is an option even if it never happens. I need to know that it could happen (barring any physical problems). And, as I told him last night - and it's not the first time I've told him this - if it's not an option then I don't know if I can be in this relationship. I may still jump off the fence on the side of not wanting children - but what if I don't? Finally, he said that yes it was an option, just not one he was ready for now and then he agreed to start thinking about it more, to not just look ahead to the next six months, but to the next few years....he so often doesn't do that and it drives me crazy that he doesn't and it drives him crazy that I do.... And how again is exactly that he is the practical one and I am the flighty, frivolous one? How is that again? I really don't want to have this discussion again. At least not like it was last night. I want this relationship and I want our possibilities and I want them to be achieved through love and reasoning and compromise, not frustration and anger and desperation. Is that too much to ask? 10:13 am - 04.30.04
sounds: S1umber Party ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- previously on ... - next time on ...
money can't buy happiness but it does buy small pieces of of serenity - 15.07.12 - 4:29 pm sh)t's about to get real, y'all - 31.05.12 - 9:46 am why the hell not? - 29.04.12 - 8:38 pm Hear that lonesome whistle blow... - 02.04.12 - 5:18 pm a faith in something I can't see - 30.03.12 - 3:33 pm |
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