This is about as social as I get now ...

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if i could do just one near perfect thing i'd be happy

The Year in Review, via her:

1. What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before?

I�m trying really hard to think of cool and exciting that I tried for the first time this year. I tried to start knitting, but put it down after a few weeks because I just didn�t have the focus or time because of school. At least that�s what I�m telling myself. God, I really wish there was something else to mention. Something new that I�d started and finished.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Yes and no. I did cut down my debt by more than 75 percent. I did get through two more semesters (with A�s all around). I did write a lot. The rest we shall not talk about.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Two friends of mine had babies, but they�re not particularly close friends and they didn�t particularly make me long to have my own.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

GB�s grandmother died yesterday; she�d been pretty sick since October and it got worse this week when she suffered two strokes. Luckily we were able to say our goodbyes to her on Saturday night. Also: My grandfather died in February after a long, debilitating struggle with diabetes and dementia. And, in March, my fiction workshop instructor, A. died. Of these three people I knew her the least amount of time, and yet I think about her the most. I think it was because she was only 32 when she died in a plane crash that also killed both of her parents. Although it�s such a clich� to say, she was such a vibrant, amazing person and it felt so horribly wrong to lose her at such a young age.

5. What countries did you visit?

None. No trip to the U.K. as I�d hoped � now we�re hoping for January 2005 (seems more realistic to plan a trip for after I graduate). But we did get to visit St. Louis, which was fun.

6. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003?

More time, more patience, more emotional balance. Oh yeah, and more money would be nice too.

7. What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Try as I might, I keep returning back to 3/14/03.. Somehow I feel like I shouldn�t. I didn�t even know her that well�but I do and she did mean something to me.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Other than getting through two semesters of grad school with straight A�s, I�m not sure if I really achieved anything this year. I hope that someday I look back upon this year and feel differently.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I feel as if my biggest failure has been at a creative level in my writing. That and not keeping in better touch with friends.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Just basic flu and cold stuff.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My car and my green and my camel-colored Paul Frank bag.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

Ummm�is this a trick question?

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

Cupcake. I�m still depressed about the loss of this friendship.

14. Where did most of your money go?

School. Car. Some trips (St. Louis, Monterey, Reno). And, OK, I admit it, clothes and Sephora. And lots of books and CDs.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Going to St. Louis to see The Band open for Chuck B*rry.

16. What song will always remind you of 2003?

I can�t really choose just one, but for right now I�m going to go with �The Go in the Go For It� by Grandaddy.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?

Honestly, I don�t know. I think I just feel lonelier.

ii. thinner or fatter?

A little thinner, for once. Though, after a week of nearly nonstop holiday baking that will probably not last.

iii. richer or poorer?

Perhaps a little richer, although that�s not saying much. Overall, I got a $225 raise per month this year and I reduced my credit card debt by 7K. Of course I also took out new student loans so I supposed I�m really just back where I started. So, uh, never mind

8. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Exercise, visit with friends, travel, write.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Complaining.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

Christmas Eve at the Caf� w/ GB and The Band; Christmas morning with GB. Christmas Day with his mother�s side of the family. This coming Sunday with my mother and brothers. Saturday we celebrated with his Dad�s side of the family. You know that Christmas is a different beast when your 11-year-old nephew refers to the multi-day celebration as Christmaskkuh.

22. Did you fall in love in 2003?

You know, I think I did. With the spouse. Again.

23. How many one night stands?

None.

24. What was your favourite TV programme?

In addition to my usual favorites (Gilmore Girls, What Not to Wear (BBC), So Graham Norton, Survivor, Sopranos, Six Feet Under, basketball), it was hands-down Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. The sweetest show on TV.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

No, I hope that I hate less.

26. What was the best book you read?

Housekeeping by Marilynne Robinson.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I finally came around to Peaches and boy am I glad I did. Same with The Shins

28. What did you want and get?

My Palm pilot

29. What did you want and not get?

You know, for the most part, I got what I wanted. The important stuff anyway.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?

American Splendor, Spellbound, Winged Migration, the Station Agent.

31. What did you do on your birthday?

Ask me after tomorrow.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Just having more time. And maybe more self-acceptence. Yes, definitely more self-acceptence.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?

A rebirth of experimental. Not crazy experimental but trying to move away from the just-basics that seem to have dominated for the last few years and going back to more vintage and thrift and local designers. But, I think overall, my style is still the same: either classic/tailored (I adore Audrey Hepburn, Katherine Hepburn, Jackie O etc) or some combination of Converse/jeans, zip-up hoodie and T-shirt.

34. What kept you sane?

Coffee. Lots and lots of black coffee. And the spouse. And music.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Kayan from Queer Eye. I don�t care if he is gay, I want him.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

The partial-birth abortion ban crisis

37. Who did you miss?

I�ve missed a lot of people.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

I�ve thought very hard about this, but I�m not willing to choose just one person. I�ve been lucky to meet quite a few best new people this year.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003.

You only have once chance to be the person you thought you could be.