don't go down to doldrums...

I am really really really tired right now. I slept really hard last night and had a hard time waking up this morning Ė I think part of it is due to the fact that it is so gray and foggy right nowÖlight depravation or something. Although I love this weather. Itís really beautiful, the bare trees against a colorless sky. Something so nakedly emotional about itÖ

Had a doctorís appointment this morning. Every time I go itís like a really bad sitcom.

Dr.: So why are you here today?

Me: Because your office asked me to make an appointment for today.

Dr. Why?

Me: To follow-up on my thyroid?

Dr. Whatís wrong with your thyroid?

Me: Um Ė the TSH level is high Ė you know, the lab results?

Dr. The lab results? What were the lab results?

Me: Uh, it was 16.9

Dr. When was this from?

Me: I talked to someone on Dec. 23.

Dr. Did we put you on medication?

Me: Yes, Lavoxyl.

Dr. Oh, what dosage?

Me: Um, I think 25mg Ė Iím not exactly sure.

Dr: So why are you back so soon? Did you do more blood work?

Me: You asked me to make an appointment for today, specifically. And no, I havenít done more bloodwork.

Dr. Oh, maybe I should go get your chart and lab results.

Me: Um, yeah, that would be good.

Sigh. Anyway, she doubled my dosage and now Iím supposed to go back in another month and get more blood drawn. Hopefully Iíll start feeling a difference soon.

Actually, I have been feeling a little bit better overall. I donít know if thatís due to the medication or my vacation or not being in school right now. But Iíve been frightfully productive and creative-minded. Iím working on my first-ever cross-stitch project. Iím starting a knitting class in February. Iíve got baking on my mind. Iíve read two books in the last week. Iíve cleaned out closets and drawers. I even went to the gym yesterday.

Things I still need to do before school starts on Jan. 22:

  • File away huge stacks of CDs on top of CD rack
  • clean out kitchen cabinets
  • organize school stuff
  • rework short story from last semester and post to web site

Like her, I have this feeling that this year might be pretty good. I donít know what it is Ė maybe just that the last two years have been pretty rough and here it is already Jan. 8 and Iíve gotten a lot of stuff done and I feel creative AND I just found out my orange kitty is very healthy except for a tooth that needs to be pulled and will wonders never cease, the $300 it will cost us to have her undergo oral surgery is not a concern. I mean, Iíd have the surgery done no matter what because it will make her feel a lot better Ė even if it meant selling off personal items and maxing out credit cards Ė but the fact that GB and I have the cash, no problem, feels great. The last few months have been good financially Ė in the sense that I have not been scared to look at my bank account right before pay day. This is a major improvement over holding oneís breath and hoping a check doesnít clear until after youíve been paid. Weíre still not rolling in any money, but weíre not drop dead brokeÖ.letís hope that continues.

Letís hope Iím not jinxing things by talking about them.

Knock on wood and all thatÖ

Hereís to 2003, so far Öso not-so-badÖ

2:16 pm - 01.08.03

sounds: The La*s
words: $tupid Wh*te M*n
i am: tired, but optimistic


previously on ... - next time on ...

money can't buy happiness but it does buy small pieces of of serenity - 15.07.12 - 4:29 pm

sh)t's about to get real, y'all - 31.05.12 - 9:46 am

why the hell not? - 29.04.12 - 8:38 pm

Hear that lonesome whistle blow... - 02.04.12 - 5:18 pm

a faith in something I can't see - 30.03.12 - 3:33 pm

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