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people are people so why should it be?

It's barely 10 a.m. and already this week is getting the best of me in the worst of ways.
It's hot - summer is burning through the morning quick and fierce.
I have a headache. Aching and dull, it came on about 4 a.m. I fled to the couch because the living room is cooler and there, I can toss and turn without disturbing anyone.

The weekend was spent trying to shop for furniture for the new house. We did find a really cool 1950s dining room set that I think we're going to buy but other that that, nothing. A trip to the monthly giant ant1que fair netted a few vintage '50s-era cookbooks ("Wi11ing Water: Recipes with Water" mmmm....hmmmmm?) and other random tchotchkes, but nothing major.

Thrifting brought in some old M*rtha Stewart and S*nset mags, primarily purchased for their gardening info.

There were other things this weekend, but nothing major. A show here, a meal there, a few moments of quiet, but not nearly enough. There are never enough of those moments.

Tonight is a work-related book group. This group of women who work in a related department keep asking me to join and I've finally committed to going. Why do these things terrify me so? Where does the anxiety come from? It's 9 hours away and I'm already experiencing a tinge of panic. I don't know any of them very well at all and will probably force myself to rely on a few glasses of wine as a way to loosen up, to relax and not feel so terrified.

When does a social phobia cross over into a full-blown disorder? At what point do I lock myself up in the house, afraid to come out for anyone?

I know I'm being overly dramatic. It's just anxiety. It usually goes away once I arrive at my destination and relax, realizing that people are just, you know, people...It's just the getting there that's so hard.

.
.
.
.
It smells like baby powder in my office. I suppose this is not entirely a bad thing.

10:52 am - 06.13.05

sounds:
words:
i am:

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previously on ... - next time on ...

money can't buy happiness but it does buy small pieces of of serenity - 15.07.12 - 4:29 pm

sh)t's about to get real, y'all - 31.05.12 - 9:46 am

why the hell not? - 29.04.12 - 8:38 pm

Hear that lonesome whistle blow... - 02.04.12 - 5:18 pm

a faith in something I can't see - 30.03.12 - 3:33 pm

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