| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- what I worry about the most here ... So much work to do, so of course I'm here instead. The more things change, the more blah blah blah. There's a job opening at one of the community colleges. Application due in two weeks (!) and although it's not my first school of choice (it's a 30-minute commute) I think I'd stand a good chance of getting it. Also received notice that the university will be hiring again in the spring because--get this--the person they hired over me three years ago is horrible and they're trying to figure out a way to either not give him tenure or to at least get the budget for a better teacher. This insight provided to me by the professor who is still bitter that I was passed over in favor of the guy with the Ph.D. Anyway, some options to explore. I've only been doing this job solo for seven months but it's proven to be all-consuming and exhausting. And I'm not sure it's going to get better before it gets much worse. Which is not to say I'm not conflicted. I am, for various reasons. But I also feel like maybe I'm just afraid of change and I've never wanted to be a person who's reluctant for change, who sticks with the known because it is known. I also don't want to be the person who's never happy, too. Maybe that's what I worry about the most here. Unrelated: C's cozy birthday weekend in the mountains with our best friends and their 3-year-old daughter turned terrifying when we thought she was choking. Paramedics called, trip to the hospital, released and then she started to turn white and pass out again in during the car ride home. Back to the hospital; tons of tests and then transported four hours home via ambulance. Finally sent home last night after endless tests. Long, long, long story short she is fine mostly--fainting episodes due to some issues that I guess are fairly (!) common for a child. Terrifying though. I will never ever forget the sound of P screaming for B. I will never ever forget racing down the stairs, a three second journey that felt like a lifetime. I prayed so hard it felt like an out of body experience. If that doesn't give me perspective, what ever would? 1:49 pm - 01.11.16
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Universe, can you just NOT right now? - 21.11.16 - 11:31 am Ugh. No, seriously, ugh. - 16.11.16 - 4:17 pm heartsick - 10.11.16 - 2:12 pm On new presidents, patriarchal smugness and pony memories - 08.11.16 - 12:45 pm A lifetime ago and then again not ... - 04.11.16 - 12:32 pm |
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