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gazing off at a ship that's sailed

Just went down the D-land archive rabbit hole. Ten years ago I was just all aflutter worrying about whether or not we should have kids. Seriously, every other post is "am I pregnant?" "do I want kids?" "no, I'm not pregnant--boo/whew!"

It's so strange to look back at that time. Here we are now, that ship has sailed. I still look to be within childbearing years, however, (and technically I suppose I am) so I still get questions about it from time to time. Mostly I brush them off.

But it's still a question I have: How do people know they want children? It seems like such a certain thing for most people (certain they do or certain they don't) yet I always wavered.

I suppose it's for the best it didn't happen then. And, honestly, I'm positive I would have been a lousy mother. I'm impatient, selfish, self-centered.

None of this, I hope you know, is commentary on your recent post. From here it looks like you're doing fine--even though you may feel different. You care, deeply, and you think about it and you worry and you love and really, isn't that half the battle?

8:45 pm - 15.07.18

sounds:
words:
i am:

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previously on ... - next time on ...

happy and grateful - 14.08.18 - 9:48 am

sickish - 02.08.18 - 8:21 pm

smoke, ash and self-loathing - 29.07.18 - 7:31 pm

what else is new, right? - 26.07.18 - 11:01 am

in which I dither on senselessly - 19.07.18 - 11:31 am

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