here in the heart lurks a silly hope....

erg...I just lost my entire entry that was almost finished...it's because GB just called and I was talking to him on the phone while I was fiddling around w/ Internet stuff and without thinking I I hit a key and it took me to another page and lost my entire entry....


so what was I going to say?

Oh yeah...thanks to dreamutopia for her tip.

I think I managed to FTP the damn thing (after my ISP tech guy kindly informed me of what I was doing wrong) but now when I go to my domain name it still just comes up w/ the ISP home page. I guess it takes at least 24 hours before it posts? Is this right? Or do I have to make another dumb and groveling call to the ISP guy?


K. has convinced me to come out tonight for the hipster DJ party. She's bartending and there's this cute guy who always comes in on Tuesdays. Last week, however - the one week I came out on a Tuesday in forever - he wasn't there.

here is part of our e-mail exchange today:


From: the shivers:
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: tonight

At 04:00 PM 7/23/2002 -0700, you wrote:

i've thought about coming by tonight but this would require me to be social...without the crutch of you or GB - cuz you're working...basically what I'm saying is if i came by do you think you'd have any time to hang out and help me not feel like a total loser dork among all the kool kids?

From: K:
Subject: Re: Re: Fwd: Re: tonight

why don't you just come sit down by my well for a bit. it hasn't been that busy the last few weeks. i'll hang out with you from behind the bar when its slow. at least come for a little bit to see ---. although i have to admit my crush has waned a bit since i didn't see him last week

From: the shivers:
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Fwd: Re: tonight

i'll meet you there - just in case it's super busy and I get super socially freaked out and need to bail...i'll come by sometime around 11...hopefully I won't have to get all bad-ass and kick someone off a barstool so I have a good place to sit..not that I wanna start a bar fight or anything, but I'm just sayin'....



pros and cons of going out:


  • human contact - of which I've had very little in the past two days
  • see cute guy on whom (depending on the day) K does or does not have a crush
  • hear great music
  • free drinks


  • human contact - of which I've had very little in the past two days
  • annoying hipster crowd
  • must shower and put on clothes that don't look as if they're better suited to housecleaning or gardening
  • can't have too many free drinks because must drive sorry ass home

oh screw it, why am I even debating the pros and cons? I already said I'd go....

So GB is in Denver right now, I think they go on at 10 p.m. Let's see - with the time difference that means they take the stage in an hour-and-a-half...he's very homesick...last night they stayed in someone's basement in Salt Lake City and apparently they were able to score truckloads of blow and pills and so there was an all-night blow-snorting and pill-popping party.

GB wasn't too thrilled about that...a little hard to sleep through an all-night party and as it stands they didn't leave Salt Lake until 11 this morning - long after they should have.

I told him to just enjoy the fun parts of the trip (the playing, the scenery, meeting new people) - he's halfway through which is usually the point when one tends to get homesick before they hit another groove of having fun...

ok, I'm going to go think about taking a shower now - it takes a while to work up to these things you know?

8:30 pm - 07.23.02

sounds: the Clinic - singles
words: Dreamweaver
i am: still hormonal


previously on ... - next time on ...

money can't buy happiness but it does buy small pieces of of serenity - 15.07.12 - 4:29 pm

sh)t's about to get real, y'all - 31.05.12 - 9:46 am

why the hell not? - 29.04.12 - 8:38 pm

Hear that lonesome whistle blow... - 02.04.12 - 5:18 pm

a faith in something I can't see - 30.03.12 - 3:33 pm

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