the quiet, here and now

Took the day off from work today - didn't call in sick but rather asked the Sr. Ed1tor earlier this week if I could just
please have Friday off because otherwise I would just snap. And this was not hyperbole and I think she sensed that and said, sure, why not?, - and that's a good kind of boss to have.

To celebrate the day off I went and got my oil changed - I know, how exciting - ran errands and then came home and took a very long, very wonderful nap.

Right now I am eating summer squash and thinking that Sunday would be a good time to go to the farmer's market because this is supposed to be the first truly warm weekend after seemingly endless months of cold and gloom and rain.

Today was spent mostly dealing with house stuff. There is a chance we'll have to push the closing date back a week which is really the last thing I want to do but, well but we'll do it because I also want this process to go smoothly and not be any more rushed and stressful than it already is.

But damn if I am not ready to get in there to start painting and refinishing floors and figuring out where our things will go to transform it from a house into our place.

They've sold the house we're living in now. If we hadn't found a place I think we would have been OK staying here as tenants...as it is I feel a certain sadness knowing we'll be leaving it. It's just rental but it's been our place for seven years now - the longest I've ever lived in one place. GB found it while I was still in NYC and so, as I drove the U-Haul cross-country with the orange kitty, I had no idea what 'home' I was going home to. I just hoped it would be better than that $850 200 square foot studio that never did feel remotely like a place I'd want to call my own.

And so when I finally got here and saw this spacious, sunny place with its gleaming hardwood floors, built-in bookcases, roomy pantry and pretty black-and-white kitchen tile...I fell in love. I fell in love with the way our belongings fit together as if we'd bought them knowing they would one day occupy the same space. I fell in love with the way this house handles the quiet. Like right now. There's just the desk fan whrrrring and, beneath that, the sound of kids' voices from the school two blocks down and then, beneath that, nothing. Just peace. It's especially peaceful on a Saturday afternoon in the summer when you rest in the bedroom, which is shady and cool thanks to the giant trees outside, and listen to the kids who live behind us play Marco Polo. Quiet, but not quiet. Just quiet enough.

It's not a sad quiet. And believe me, I've been in a lot of houses/apartments that live with a sad quiet.

I'm going to miss all this.

I might even miss our ghost. The same ghost who's scared the bejezus out of me more than once by coming up from behind - when no one else is home of course - and firmly pressing a hand against the small of my back. I have gasped and lost a year or two off my life more than once thanks to that joker. Once, I tried to address the issue by standing in the middle of the dining room and saying, in my sternest voice possible, I don't care if you live here - it was your place before it was mine - but for the love of God, stop touching me.


Tonight - so many options:

The S*m Prek0p show?
Dinner and a movie with friends?
The basketball game?
Who knows, all sound good...but for now I'll just enjoy the quiet for a little longer.

5:15 pm - 05.20.05

sounds: desk fan whrrrrring
words: Gi1ead - Mari1ynne Robinson
i am: a little more refreshed


previously on ... - next time on ...

money can't buy happiness but it does buy small pieces of of serenity - 15.07.12 - 4:29 pm

sh)t's about to get real, y'all - 31.05.12 - 9:46 am

why the hell not? - 29.04.12 - 8:38 pm

Hear that lonesome whistle blow... - 02.04.12 - 5:18 pm

a faith in something I can't see - 30.03.12 - 3:33 pm

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