| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- it's what you like to do For the love of St. Nick, a co-worker is wearing jingly bells on her sweater. She's very nice and all...but...my headache keeps growing every time she walks by... Mini-breakdown last night. GB was at band practice and I was baking and instead of this making me feel all cheery and holiday-like as it usually does, I started to feel very sad. I finally realized that's it's because, for the most part, nothing seems very Christmas-y yet. Sure, I've been baking and the house smells deliciously of nutmeg and cloves and cinnamon; yes there are presents everywhere and parties to go to...but yet...I feel as if we are just so caught up in the planning and organization of everything that it's sucking the cheer right out of me. And then there's my birthday, sneaking up. GB has band practice that night and because of a bunch of recent problems regarding group practice, can't really get out of it. Which I guess is fine, he doesn't have to be at practice until 9 and he's taking me to dinner beforehand, but when he suggested I try and round up some friends to go to the club w/ me after dinner, the thought just depressed the hell out of me. Because it's two days before Christmas and everyone will be too busy and I've got to work the next day anyway. This will also be, I think, the first time I've ever worked on my birthday...feels kind of strange, but OK. It's not a big deal, people obviously do it all the time and, as I'm not someone who thinks birthday=chance to be Queen for a Day, it's really besides the point. And, just to clarify, the spouse feels horrible that he has to practice that night and I don't want him to feel bad because he always does really nice things for me on my birthday...this year, in addition to dinner on my actual birthday, he's taking me to dinner at a fancy vegan restaurant and to the SF Moma in January as part of an extended b-day trip In any case, do I even want to encourage the thought of getting older? So yeah, hey 34, how ya doing? You can just pass me by if you like, me and 33 are getting along just fine. 4:18 pm - 12.17.03
sounds: jingle bells ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- previously on ... - next time on ...
money can't buy happiness but it does buy small pieces of of serenity - 15.07.12 - 4:29 pm sh)t's about to get real, y'all - 31.05.12 - 9:46 am why the hell not? - 29.04.12 - 8:38 pm Hear that lonesome whistle blow... - 02.04.12 - 5:18 pm a faith in something I can't see - 30.03.12 - 3:33 pm |
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