| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- you shouldn't think everything you feel So I have a new haircut and i'm not sure if i like it. It's short, it's pixie-ish...it's..it's..i'm not sure if it's me...it used to be me...but the bangs make it look kind of funky so I'm having to wear them up in barettes and while I used to be all about barettes (I still own over a hundred), I'm not really anymore and so for the last couple of days I've kind of felt like a former version of myself - one I thought I'd outgrown. GB says he likes it, he says it's very Twiggy. But, you know, I am not Twiggy (read: rail thin and impossibly beautiful and glamourous). I am, you know, me - whatever that is. I really don't know anymore. Hmmm...it's just HAIR, I know that...but it's making me not feel like me. Luckily my hair tends to grow fast. And I'm planning on growing it back into a short-ish bob with the short-short bangs... a style I thought I'd tired of but now when I look back at pictures, I think - what the hell? I looked cute! Grow it back sister!. But what if I grow it back and by that time that look is no longer me??? What if I feel like a former version of myself once again? What if I never figure out my hair again? This is existential angst as I know it... I also hate my face lately. It seems....lopsided....don't laugh. GB swears that this is not the case...although, like Drew Barrymore, I tend to talk with my mouth in a funny lopsided way. FEH - I'm 33 years old - when will I get over myself and just be 'comfortable in my own skin'? Or should I just accept my fate as a neurotic freak girl? I'm beginning to suspect the latter. In other, less existenstial angsty news - tomorrow is my four year wedding anniversary - I know it's a cliche to say, but I honestly can't believe it's been that long. It both feels like yesterday and light years away since we spent the day trying to breathe, eating strawberries and drinking a $100 bottle of champagne in pre-celebration. Tomorrow GB has a show so we're commemorating the event tonight with dinner and a movie and time spent together alone. 10:51 am - 08.13.03
sounds: Death Cab F0r Cutie ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- previously on ... - next time on ...
money can't buy happiness but it does buy small pieces of of serenity - 15.07.12 - 4:29 pm sh)t's about to get real, y'all - 31.05.12 - 9:46 am why the hell not? - 29.04.12 - 8:38 pm Hear that lonesome whistle blow... - 02.04.12 - 5:18 pm a faith in something I can't see - 30.03.12 - 3:33 pm |
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