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halfway to all the way

Sorry that I haven't really been here lately...it's just been, well life's just been like that.

The month of June has been a bit overwhelming and I suspect part of it has to do with the fact and I'm less than six months away from my 35th birthday and for me 35 is the new 30. Meaning time for what-am-i-doing-with-my-life-freakouts and damn-if-i-don't-feel-old rants.

It didn't help that I got a crap-ass review at work.

Yes, the review I'd been waiting for two months

OK, so technically it wasn't crap-ass. But it wasn't all good and glowing either.

And in my opinion it was completely unfair. The majority of it was written by the boss I had in between old boss and new boss. I only worked with him for, what three months, and he wrote most of my review.....I'm working with new boss now because the Seni0r Editor determined that me and interim boss weren't a good fit.

Anyway. New Boss and I get along famously; she's great. She also was surprised by my review but couldn't really change anything about it becasue she'd only worked with me about a month once it came through. However she agreed with me that, based on her knowledge of working with me AND based on old boss's portion of the review, that interim boss's review didn't really characterize my ability or work ethic. She also agreed that the tone of it was very unfair. Hello, can you say patronizing and condescending and SMUG. The worst part, however, is that this all came as a surprise to me. All of interim boss's comments were new information to me which strictly goes against our guild rules.

If I wanted I could probably get the union involved, but instead New Boss helped me to start the process of writing a rebuttal, meeting with Seni0r Editor and securing a new evaluation in six months.

That this all happened the day before we left for NYC did not do much for me except really make me want to get the hell away from this company and I'm just glad that New Boss is here to help me smooth things out. She's promised that the review doesn't mean anything to her and that from this point on we're just moving forward.

Blah, blah, blah...between that and thinking about wanting to get a master's in poly sci and fretting about buying a house and then, of course, NYC and realizing I'd love to move back there, well June was an emotional whirlwind....

the good news is that GB is "open" to the idea of moving to NYC (or Chicago or Portland). (The bad news here is just the mere fact that he's "open" to this idea sends me into a tailspin of "what ifs" and worries about leaving friends and family. God, I'm a freak).

Also good is that I've finally gotten back into regular exercise, started working on my thesis this weekend (FINALLY) and GB & I are doing OK on a personal level and it's summer and it hasn't been a million degrees yet and for every crappy thing crowding my brain and suffocating my to-do list there is a lovely distraction like the Sunday morning farmer's market or the upcoming [email protected] Cruz trip with K. and thoughts of summer BBQs and good books to read and trashy TV shows like Bl0w-Out and a new haircut on Saturday and relatively good health and so on and so forth.

P.S. We saw Farenhe1t 911 on Sunday and it rocked my liberal heart and head .....sure it's lefty propaganda....but that's the point really...

1:20 pm - 06.30.04

sounds:
words:
i am: slowly returning to action

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previously on ... - next time on ...

money can't buy happiness but it does buy small pieces of of serenity - 15.07.12 - 4:29 pm

sh)t's about to get real, y'all - 31.05.12 - 9:46 am

why the hell not? - 29.04.12 - 8:38 pm

Hear that lonesome whistle blow... - 02.04.12 - 5:18 pm

a faith in something I can't see - 30.03.12 - 3:33 pm

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