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a slow wave of loss

I know dream entries are tedious but it's my journal and I'll be boring if I want to.

Last night's dream had so much to unpack. I was still married to D. but in a relationship with C. I was my current age and my mother was still alive, living in a two-bedroom apartment that looked like the one that D. and I were sharing when we split up.

I'd just found out I was pregnant (at this age!) and wasn't sure what I was going to do, other than keep it. I wasn't living with D. or C. at the time so I talked to my mother about moving in with her for a few months to save money--much in the same way I did when D. and I split up. I was excited to be pregnant but also scared. I wondered about my relationships. I was glad my mother was there.

When I awoke, with a start, I just felt such sadness, a slow wave of loss.

11:38 am - 12.08.19

sounds:
words:
i am:

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previously on ... - next time on ...

in which my mother runs for president - 06.10.19 - 5:40 pm

anyway, i am still here - 21.09.19 - 11:28 am

twenty years and counting - 15.08.19 - 6:15 pm

If only - 13.08.19 - 11:35 am

a slow wave of loss - 12.08.19 - 11:38 am

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