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several arrows later

It's been a horrible couple of weeks. C's mom had a meltdown -- like serious, land-you-in-the-crazy-hospital meltdown. And you can only imagine the kinds of meltdowns that nearly brought on in us.
And work has been brutal in a way that I never imagined it could be. I like teaching, I really do, but there are days when they just stare at me blankly -- after I've spent hours preparing a lesson plan -- or when I'm grading papers and it's clear that some of them don't give a flying f*** about spell-checking and proofing much less sentence fragments or comma splices.
And to make it all the harder my sweet kitty has been really sick again. She's 16 years old, I should expect it but it still breaks my heart. She's been with me since the days of the Ex and has taught me so much about not being so goddamned selfish and now I'm sleeping on the couch with her and cleaning her after she steps in her own waste and sometimes I have to pick her up and carry her around because her back legs fail her and yet despite my worst fears the vet swears this little orange cat is not ready to go yet...she's still eaing, still loving, still bathing....she still wants to be here....

and I can manage beyond this is listening to Matt Pond PA over and over and over again and watching Project Runway and cuddling with my cat on the couch at 4 a.m., grateful for all those remaining seconds

4:32 pm - 11.03.10

sounds:
words:
i am:

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previously on ... - next time on ...

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