do you like it like that?

warning: very random, rambling entry ahead...

I am a sniffling, sneezing mess. The problem is, I can’t figure out if it’s allergies or a cold. Usually I’m pretty good at distinguishing between the two but not this time. My body’s just not cooperating with the usual signs. This weekend I was sore and achy so I figured it was a cold. But then that went away on Monday and I felt generally OK, just a little congested. Then yesterday I woke up at 4 a.m., completely stuffed up. Thought it must be allergies just for the way it was making my head feel like a ticking time bomb. But the allergy medicine didn’t work. So, last night GB went to the store and got me some Nyquil and Dayquil. Took the Nyquil and it knocked my sorry ass out flat at about 10 p.m. Great, I thought this morning when I woke up at 7 a.m., I’ll take some Dayquil and be done with it.

Not so easy. I’m hopped up on Dayquil but it’s Not. Doing. Anything.

I am as sneezy and sniffly as ever.

This is seriously screwing up my productivity. I was supposed to read last night – no can do when you’re sneezing every few minutes.

I wanted to get up early this morning to write – no can do when you’re in a Nyquil-induced stupor.

Today I have to drive down to school. Here’s hoping I don’t get pulled over for reckless driving under the influence of over-the-counter cold medicine.

In other news….oh wait, there is no other news. Not really. Just the usual school and work and trying to fit in time with the spouse and maybe friends. Oh and trying to find time to write and exercise. At least putting up a good front about it all.

I have an idea for a novel swimming about in my head and sometimes I’m very excited about it and sometimes I’m not and mostly I’m just trying to tell myself that the mere act of writing and playing around with it is enough. To not worry so much about the final outcome, to not worry about it if it is “good” or “bad” or something in between. I just need to practice and exercise and stretch and flex and retool and refine.

So now if my head would just clear up, I could do that…or try to do that…I’ve also decided to just start practicing fiction in a hardcover journal as well. Anything to keep me going – as it’s not always convenient to be sitting at a computer…so at night, before or after I read, I can whip out the journal and scrawl for a while. Hopefully I’m not just bullshitting myself.

I hate it when I bullshit myself.

I have to work Saturday – a conference for work. Which means I’m taking tomorrow off. But not really because I have a ton of homework to do. And stuff I need to catch up on around the house.

But, there are only about six weeks of school left. And then I’ll have a few weeks off until I dive into an independent study class that I’m doing with a few friends from school (on social issues in speculative science fiction – should be interesting)..

Hey, guess what – I have a few friends from school. I mean really. Dorky, anti-social, painfully shy me has a few friends from school. This was really driven home to me last week at the memorial for A. Which only served to underscore the pain when I remembered what A told me last semester: This is a great time for you as a writer – you’ll make friends here that you’ll keep for the rest of your life..

I really wanted her to be one of those lifelong friends. In reality, not just in memory…

… we have a couple of pretty-sounding birds hanging around our back yard these days. I wish I knew my bird sounds better…some day. Listening to them sing in the early morning hours is a nice way to wake up - even when one is sniffling and sneezing.

12:10 pm - 03.26.03

sounds: Reb*cca Pearcy - AGAIN
words: Grace Pa1ey - Enormous Change$ at the La$t Minute
i am: sneezing and sniffling


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