| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- we all try to live our lives in harmony ... So I really mean it this time. I think I've won my heart back ... Yes, a small part of me was disappointed not to see Him last night. But good god I can't even describe the infinite sense of relief that washed over me when I got his message. I called him back later and left him a brief message (which I realized in retrospect was maybe too brief, I probably sounded pissed when in reality I just wanted to move on) and then I went home. GB had a work dinner so I fixed myself something to eat and sat on the couch with my cats and a trashy glam magazine. Later I met up with him at the show where we drank lots of coffee and I felt very content just keeping my hand on his arm... Later that night as we sat on the bed talking before sleep, I felt so relieved that I hadn't gone. Relieved that I hadn't lied to him about anything. That I didn't have to, didn't try to, cover anything up. I felt honest and clean and true. Speaking of which, as we were sitting there at the show at one point this girl came up to me, she's a semi-friend in the sense that I like her but don't know her very well but we've been talking more recently. "So, did -- tell you about Portland?" she asked. -- (is her husband. He's in this cool local pop band. He's also a semi-friend - though I actually know him better than I know her. "The boys went up to Portland for a couple of shows last week," she said. "Well actually they went up to Portland for the strip clubs ... and they went into this one strip club where they saw this girl. Except for the blond hair she looked exactly like you!" Oh my. B, the girl, couldn't stop laughing. It is pretty funny. It got even funnier when M, her husband walked up and she told him she'd told me. His face turned beet red. "Yeah so I guess the whole band can now imagine you naked," she said. "I guess the other night at the cafe, you walked in right as they were talking about it and it freaked them all out" So, I asked, were they fake or real? M, blushing only slightly at this point said "oh definitely real" Well good...let's hear it for the real girls ...especially when they're strippers... A few minutes later the band's bassist walked up and I don't know him at all (he's new to the band) and B actually introduced me to him as 'you know, she looks just like that stripper you saw in Portland -only she's brunette" Even GB took this conversation pretty well "Was she *really* a blonde?" he asked. Too funny. So fucking absurd. I'm about as far from a stripper as you could get. Or so I thought. I've been to stip clubs before. I've even been to one in Portland, the Kit-Kat Club I think it was called...they always amaze me, all the fake plastic bodies and exaggerated moves. But every now and then you see a girl who is pretty real and natural ... Anyway, they're definitely not my scene (strip clubs, or strippers for that matter) but they are definitely a study in cultural anthropology ... Tonight I think I am staying home. Was going to go to a show at the cafe. But I am really burnt out. Have hardly been home in the last few weeks. I just feel like puttering around the house with the music blasting. I think I have found a song I want to try and sing. It's a mid-range alt.country song, "Fading Fast" by Kelly Willis. She used to be this slick country girl on MCA records and then she got booted for not being slick enough and now she's on Rykodisc. Before she put out her last album she recorded an EP with Son Volt and the songs are really cool, moving between mournful and sad and slightly drunken and woozy. Sort of Syd Straw meets Lori Carson which is a great thing in my book ....anyway, I've been playing the song over and over. GB saw it sitting in my bag--asked me about it. "Oh, I'm just listening to it," I said ...I need to get the lyrics and start practicing... GB is practicing again tonight with Guitar Girl so it will give me the chance to let loose around the house. Just me and the kitties and my wavering voice ... 10:01 a.m. - 2001-07-12
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money can't buy happiness but it does buy small pieces of of serenity - 15.07.12 - 4:29 pm sh)t's about to get real, y'all - 31.05.12 - 9:46 am why the hell not? - 29.04.12 - 8:38 pm Hear that lonesome whistle blow... - 02.04.12 - 5:18 pm a faith in something I can't see - 30.03.12 - 3:33 pm |
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