| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- oui, paris Another birthday has come and gone. This year was low-key but nice and, for once, not really fraught with the usual anxieties I have over my birthday. In recent years I've found myself nervous and self-doubting about asking people to spend time with me on my birthday (two days before Xmas) and then that turns into a spiral of self-defeating thoughts and, then, depression. This year, however, it didn't. And I'm not really sure why--I wish I could tell you it was because of terrific self growth on my part but I know that's not it because the self-doubt and anxiety are still around--just for other reasons. Anyway, it was a lovely day. I slept in and then drank coffee and read. Then we went to brunch. Next, we came home and napped before heading out for drinks with a friend who shares the same birthday. From there we went to the historic movie theater in town to view "It's a Wonderful Life"--one of my all-time favorites. It was lovely and I cried throughout the entire film. A birthday well-done. Next year is a milestone birthday and I'd be lying if I tried to tell you I wasn't experiencing a twinge of 'oh my god, how old am i going to be?!?'. More than a twinges. Multiple twinges. All the goddamned twinges, honestly. But to deal with it head on I am treating it as destination worth reaching (I mean it IS, it's not like I want to not be here) by planning a trip to Paris. I've never been and I've been saving money for the last 18 months and should be able to pay for most of it with just this paltry weekly savings I'm setting aside and I am so damn excited with the planning and have even downloaded one of those language apps although it's clear my French will be terrible and I hope they don't laugh mercilessly at the concreteness of my accent. So far I have learned such important phrases as "C'est un chat" and "Bonne journée". I imagine at least one of them may come in handy. 4:54 pm - 28.12.18
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long story short - 05.03.19 - 9:01 pm prepare for the worst - 24.02.19 - 2:05 pm fucking devastated - 19.02.19 - 7:13 pm love, loss and 20 years - 06.02.19 - 8:45 pm KonMari my brain please - 13.01.19 - 6:32 pm |
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