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just a shot away...

So last night I got home from work to find a message saying ‘oh, we see you’re only taking one class and we can’t disperse your money. Can you call us and let us know if you’re adding another class?”

Um, HELLO - I talked to you people last Thursday and went over ALL of this and was told I would get ALL of my money.

This message caused me to majorly freak-out last night - and I do mean major – sobs, screams, throwing stuff – because it got me in a real tizzy about money in general. It just felt as if everything was spiraling out of control and what am I supposed to do – come up with $2K RIGHT NOW in order to continue with school this semester? I don’t HAVE 2K. Yes, I know GB does and yes he offered it to me – but I don’t want to use that money – that’s our cushion, that’s our starting-to-save-up-for-a-down payment money. That’s our emergency fund. That is NOT our the-financial-aid-people-have-their-heads-up-their-asses fund.

Deep breath.

Anyway, I talked to someone this morning and she says I am getting SOME money still. I explained to her that someone else told me I was getting ALL of my money and that this was supposedly settled last Thursday. She didn’t really know what to say to this but is supposed to go ‘revise’ my account/award info and get back to me by mid-afternoon.

WAIT, THIS JUST IN:

Just got a call from the financial aid wench. When all is said and done I will get $5748 in financial aid. $2000 of that will go towards tuition. I’ll get the rest in a refund check. I’m going to put the balance into a new school-only savings account to put towards funds for my last semester when I’m no longer eligible for financial aid.

Feh. I hate dealing with this shit.

Amazingly though, my mood is better. No really – it was better BEFORE the wench called. Actually it’s been better since this morning.

I was standing in front of the mirror doing my morning-thing and feeling tired and burnt and just basically drugged (though the strongest thing I’ve imbibed in the last two weeks is a double-shot latte) and thinking why does everybody else have it so easy and then I looked right into the mirror image of my eyes. And I felt stupid and guilty and relieved.

Um, hello Shivers – there a gazillion people out there who do NOT have it so easy. You really are a lucky person and the fact that you are able to drag your sorry ass out of bed and walk on your own two legs into the bathroom and use your own two hands to style your hair is just partial proof of this.

I am able-bodied, somewhat intelligent and married to an all-around great guy who did NOT freak out when I freaked out last night. He was quite the prince, actually.

I am very lucky, despite all this shit, so – at least for the time being – the whining will stop. (With an emphasis on ‘for the time being’)

12:23 pm - 01.31.03

sounds: work sounds
words: Hou$ekeeping
i am: breathing deeply

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previously on ... - next time on ...

money can't buy happiness but it does buy small pieces of of serenity - 15.07.12 - 4:29 pm

sh)t's about to get real, y'all - 31.05.12 - 9:46 am

why the hell not? - 29.04.12 - 8:38 pm

Hear that lonesome whistle blow... - 02.04.12 - 5:18 pm

a faith in something I can't see - 30.03.12 - 3:33 pm

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