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there she goes

Well I had full and good intentions of updating again yesterday but my doctor’s appointment turned into this three hour nightmare. OK, it wasn’t really a nightmare per se, but I was there two hours longer than I had expected. …

You see, I went to the doctor for this weird little infection I have near my mouth. Sounds pleasant doesn’t it? It’s this dried-out, red flaky thing by the left corner of my lips. It’s been there off and on since August. Mostly it’s not super-noticeable but when it flares up it’s quite unpleasant. When I saw my doctor back in September she told me I wasn’t getting enough Vitamin B-12 and told me to start taking prenatal vitamins. So, even though I thought this was just another ploy on her part to get me pregnant (she really wants me to start popping out babies – seeing as how ancient I am at the ripe old age of 31) – I did it. For a full month – hell, I’m still taking them because they are chockfull of all the essential stuff and so far they haven’t tricked my body into becoming pregnant. But alas, my little problem has not cleared up. Instead it just sort of cycles in and out.

So I finally scheduled another appointment and lo and behold when I woke up yesterday morning I had this terrific backache of the sharp-knives-in-my-shoulder-blade-and-lower-back-and-arm variety. Screechingly horrible pain. Great timing though. So the doctor (a different doctor than before) puts me through all those range-of-motion tests and agrees that, mmm hmmm, yes, you are indeed in a lot of pain there seeing as how you can’t move your neck or raise your arm or anything. She does a few little massaging motions on my shoulders which make me want to scream out with pain and in between grimaces I explain to her that these excruciating, rather debilitating backaches come on every few months or so for no apparent reason. They usually last for about a week during which time I survive on fistfuls of Advil and an over reliance on my heating pad. Anyway, the doc sends me off to X-Ray where I have to wait for-ever and then disrobe from the top down and put my aching back against a chilly X-Ray machine while the technician tries to joke about stuff. I don’t know what because by this point my back and neck and arms were really really hurting and I could barely pay attention.

Afterwards, after I am dressed again, I ran over to the pharmacy and picked up my triple-strength pain relievers and muscle relaxants (oh, and a steroid cream for the little skin thingy). Only you have to eat before you take the pain reliever and I hadn’t eaten in several hours and was starving. So I buy a granola bar and practically inhale that on the way back to the car. I drive back to work, get a Diet Coke and down a pill. Then I shut everything down and head over to the Co-Op to pick up dinner.

Only I guess that granola bar wasn’t exactly what they meant by “food” because suddenly I am very woozy and feel as if I’m in some sort of foodie dream and the bright lights hurt my eyes and it takes me a lifetime to pick out some figs (Figs? I never buy figs?!?) and rice and soy milk and bread and the like. A veritable lifetime. But the pain reliever is working. I am able to go home and whip up a wonderful dinner (black bean soup and cornbread) and even laugh my way through an episode of Gilmore Girls. …

But come 9:30 I am suddenly exhausted and very achy again. So down goes another pain pill and this time I take half a muscle relaxant as well. Then I figure, what the hell, I might as well sleep good tonight, and so I pop a melantonin. I prop myself up with the ice pack for about a half hour and read last week’s Newsweek which has me in tears as I read about the people on Flight 93 (from Sept. 11) and so there I am all weepy and woozy and finally I throw down the magazine (it never fails…whenever I read something about Flight 93 and those cell phone calls, I lose it) and drag myself out of bed to kiss GB goodnight. Very grateful that he is there and that my worst fears have yet to be realized. You see I get very worried when he is late from work. Mostly I can control the worry to an extent but if I’m having a bad day or am super-tired then worry can turn to panic and suddenly I’m convinced he’s lying dead on the freeway somewhere.

After the kiss I exchange the ice pack for my heating pad and within minutes I am like a brick. When I do awake (thank you my dear, damn cat), I am groggy and confused.

And that, my friends, is why I didn’t update again yesterday.

And then I was going to update this morning but first I had to restore a bunch of preferences on my computer that were lost after our e-mail program was virtually wiped out by the Goner virus. And then kaboom - a transform blows out somewhere and we are left sitting in the near-dark for nearly an hour. Then there is a project that has to be finished now and then it is lunch and I am starving.

And then it is now, and so…here I am…

And … the work is piling up …so there I go…

1:36 pm - 12.05.01

sounds:
words:
i am:

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