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re: crazymaking....

To give you an idea of how my day is going: I logged onto Diaryland at 9:05 a.m. this morning to start my daily read of diaries. It is now 3:55 p.m. and I have just finished reading all the diaries that were highlighted in red on my buddy list. I hit the refresh key on my browser and wham - a gazillion more diaries to read.

Where is time going lately? Besides out the goddamned door?

I am so tired right now itís not funny. Going to go home and take a short nap (after I go buy some groceries) and then shower and go to meet her at the Club.

Canít. Forget.To.Tape.Gilmore.Girls.

The weekend was relatively panic-free. I mean, I worried about things Ė but I didnít freak out. I still donít really have any answers Ė except that now I know that Plan B is not an option unless I definitely go part time at work. SoooooooÖÖ..Weíre sticking with Plan A (the plan currently in effect) for now. Iím trying very hard to stick to the one-day-at-time school of thought. Itís so hard though Ė itís not in my nature, I tend to obsess over the details of my future. I know itís unhealthy. I know I canít plan everything out. But stillÖ.

Thanks again to everyone. Over the next few days I hope to sign everyoneís guest book Öuntil then, a collective thanks.

LCís dad passed away Thursday night. I didnít find out until yesterday when MC told me. Barely two weeks between his diagnosis and his death.

I hope to talk to her this weekend.

In other, less meaningful news, last night I skipped out on a rock show that I had been planning on for months Ė the Mooney Suzuki. I love this band. I was so looking forward to the show. But, come last night, I was exhausted after a weekend of rockíníroll (Friday and Saturday), studying (Saturday and Sunday) and birthday parties (Sunday night). I just needed time at home. We watched the Sopranos and ate Boca burgers and generally just relaxed.

This Saturday is Elvis Costello and Phantom Planet Ė we got free tix with great seats so Iím definitely not missing it.

Aside from that, however, Iíll just be doing a lot of studying Ė extra studying in fact to try and get ahead. Next Friday K and I are going to her familyís Santa Cruz beach house for four days and even though I plan on reading / writing while Iím there, I donít want that to be all that I do.

Iím feeling a tiny bit better about my writing. Not great but not stomach-churning awful either Ė which is quite an improvement. GBís out of town tomorrow night so that gives me one last quiet uninterrupted stretch of writing / revising before I dash off to Kinkoís and then turn it in for class on Thursday.

Iím actually eager to start the next story (the current story is something that was basically already written Ė though in the last two weeks Iíve doubled it in length and done some major rewrites) Ė I need to outline it and figure out some of the characters Ė but Iím excited about getting it down on paper. Hopefully that excitement wonít disappear once I actually start reading.

The good thing is Iíve found a good place to study on Sundays. Thereís this cafť tucked away in a nearby neighborhood. Itís generally quiet after noon on Sundays (Saturdays Iím studying at home as GB tends to be out running around) and they have an upstairs alcove where other people go to study. Thereís a place to plug in my laptop and a sunny window. The chairs are kind of uncomfortable (ornamental iron things) but I can remedy that a bit with a cushiony sweatshirt. Oh and the one girl who works the counter is ruder than fuck but I donít really care Ė I buy my coffee and my muffin and I donít have to see her again. The owner is nice and thatís all that really counts. I actually look forward to going there Ė itís kind of cool to see the same people every Sunday and to think that weíre kind of in this together.

Alright, must go and finish my diary reading (damn you frequent updaters! Just kidding) as well as finish some more workÖ.

5:12 pm - 09.24.02

sounds: Ladytron - Light & Magic
words: Doris Lessing - the Fifth Child
i am: eating an apple....

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previously on ... - next time on ...

money can't buy happiness but it does buy small pieces of of serenity - 15.07.12 - 4:29 pm

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Hear that lonesome whistle blow... - 02.04.12 - 5:18 pm

a faith in something I can't see - 30.03.12 - 3:33 pm

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