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prelude to a reunion

Well, it happened. I found my biological mother's sister. And discovered I have a cousin.

It's all a little overwhelming to think about.

It's been two months since I first started talking with S, my third cousin who is handling the estate of the cousin (second cousin to me) who died without a will. I'd given him Dee's name but didn't have much more to go on. My stepdad had an old address but it didn't turn anything up.

Meanwhile, S. has been using one of those people-finder services and he finally stumbled on some other addresses and two phone numbers. He offered to let me be the one to try to call her, which I appreciated it.

I called last Sunday. The landline was disconnected so I called the cell phone and got a voicemail that didn't have a message attached to it. I left a rambling message. About 10 minutes later I decided to call back. Someone named J. answered and told me I had the wrong number.

Figures. Who knows how old these numbers are.

I sat back down at my laptop and googled my aunt's name again, trying all the variations that my stepdad said she might be under.

I typed in her married name with the middle initial and stared at the page of the results. My eyes wandered down the list of results and a name caught my eye. It was the first name of the person whose phone I'd just called maybe 10 minutes ago--first name with my aunt's married name. Under her name it said "May be associated with ...." and listed my aunt's name.

I called over to C.

"Hey, did I say that the person who answered the cell phone was named J.?"

"Yes," he called back.

I looked her up on Facebook, but it's a relatively common name and nothing seemed to click.

Then, I typed her name into Ancestry, including the middle name that Google first showed me

And there it was: a birth record showing my aunt and uncle as the parents. Born in Dallas, Texas--three hours from where I was born--and just two years younger.

"I never even knew I had a cousin," I told C. "I never even thought to ask if Dee had kids."

The next day I called her cell phone again and left another rambling message.

"I know this probably sounds weird, but I think I'm your cousin," I said into the phone. "I promise this isn't a scam. I don't want anything—but I think I have some good news for your mother."

She texted me back within 10 minutes and said she'd call me the next day.

Later, I learned that she called her mother first, confused.

"Mom, did P have a daughter?"

Her mother was silent at first

"Yes, yes she did," Dee said. "Did she reach out?"

J. didn't know about me and I didn't know about J. All these years.
I think about how much time I spent with my cousins on my adoptive mother's side, and even on my dad's side.

And here, neither my biological mother nor my aunt thought to tell their daughters that there was another person out there.

J. and I ended up talking on the phone for nearly an hour. She lives in Topeka, Kansas, has a wife, three cats and a dog. She told me about our grandparents, whom she really didn't know very well because she grew up in Nashville and never came back to Texas. She didn't like our grandmother
much but wishes I could have met the man she called Popi.

Dee lives in a hotel in central Florida.

"She struggles financially," J. said. "I try to help, but there's only so much I can do."

She gave me her mother's number and warned me that she could be guarded, but wanted to talk to me.

I called and she answered right away. She hadn't seen me since I was a baby.

"You sat on my lap and I fed you," she said. "You had the darkest hair and eyes."

I had so many questions I wanted to ask, but I didn't want to overwhelm her. Instead, I told her about the inheritance. It sounds like she could really use it. I hope it makes her life better. I put her in touch with my cousin S, who said she was the last piece of the inheritance puzzle.

I hope we get to see each other soon; I hope J. can be there, too.

We have so much catching up to do.

6:35 pm - 26.02.21

sounds:
words:
i am:

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previously on ... - next time on ...

calling from beyond the grave, i just wanna say 'hi dad' - 07.04.21 - 9:21 pm

tired in the bones - 22.03.21 - 1:43 pm

baby, all we need is a shot in the arm - 13.03.21 - 8:13 pm

in the air - 09.03.21 - 7:11 pm

the pandemic wall is real - 03.03.21 - 6:11 pm